Hope ~Yato x Reader AU~

Chapter 10: Remembering Sunsets

My eyes burn.

They burn and they sting. I guess that's what happens when you don't get any sleep. For two nights in a row, that is.

It's been two nights since I've been able to silence my mind enough to let me drift off. Two nights since I've been able to go unconscious. Two nights since I've slipped into dreamland. Two nights and I'm feeling the repercussions; heavy eyelids, burning eyes, weak limbs, and clouded thoughts. That is my current state. But no matter how many sheep I count and how many lullabies I listen to, I still can't shut my brain off, and I guess that's what I get.

That's just what I get for simply being me.

Frustrated, I let out a haggard sigh and peel my comforter back. All the complications and complexities of my life have officially made any hope of sleep out of my grasp. And since that's the case, I might as well get up and do something. Whether that something is productive or recreational, I'll find out.

I begin to make my way down to the main living area, turning on every light as I go. Once I reach the kitchen, I begin the process of preparing some steaming tea. If anything, maybe that'll help to ease my mind a tad. Just a tad is better than nothing, right? Maybe. Then again, maybe not. Either way, a warm cup of tea is something much needed.

After a few moments, I finish preparing my tea and take a seat at the nearby table, taking a few sips. The warm beverage rolls down my throat, heating me from the inside out as the sweet aroma drifts up into my nose. It smells so sweet, the scent trying to soothe me upon meeting my nostrils. Honestly, there's something very nostalgic about this.

Drinking warm tea with a dash of honey.

And it hits me. When I was a little girl -one far too young to be a disappointment yet- YM/N would make warm tea, always adding just a hint of honey to give the bitter tea a tad of raw sweetness whenever my siblings or myself were sick or feeling down. And it always tasted good. It tasted good and it was always a moment where we sat together, typically laughing. So many times, we sat at the kitchen table, me in YM/N's lap as YB/N and YS/N sat in their chairs while YF/N stood behind my mother. All five of us...all five of us gathered as a family...all of us gathered as a family smiling and laughing. That's what we were.

But that was so long ago. Those moments of sitting on my mother's lap as we all gathered around the kitchen table is nothing but a memory now. Nothing but a shadow of what was. Because as time progressed, life as I knew it changed. My increased age brought forth more responsibilities and less family time. My parents' schedules became full with their work and my plate was then loaded with my own obligations. Gone were the days of childish freedoms and endeavors, all being replaced with expectations and regulations. Gone were the days of feeling loved.

"Fuck," I huff, squeezing my eyes shut. "Why now? Why this? Ugh."

It feels crazy to admit it, but after my talk with Mr. Sui, I've been contemplating whether or not to attend the Paxton Free Young Awards. Which is ridiculous. I mean, why would I even want to go to something like that? Despite being raised in the magical world of science and medicine, it is not something I necessarily want to pursue. Nor is it something I'm interested in. However, the more I think about it, the more I wonder.

The Paxton Free Young Award is huge...and if what Mr. Sui had told me is true, then I know if I went, I'd most likely run into YM/N and YF/N. And, to be honest, I'm not really sure if I'm ready to see them again. After all, I haven't been away from them that long...right? I mean...it's only been...how long has it been? I don't even remember, but it hasn't been too long. No way.

But if that's true, then why do I feel so empty? Maybe...just maybe it's because...despite all the pain and hurt and sorrow...spending all this time away from them has made me miss them.

I miss my parents.

**Ello, ello lovelies! Well, a little filler chapter giving a small glimpse into Y/N's thoughts about her parents. Seems she misses them. What would y'all do if you were feeling like Y/N does? Feel free to take a gander! As always, thank you so, so, soooo much for everything! Y'all are coolio! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross