Hope ~Yato x Reader AU~

Chapter 16: Heart's Conflict

He looks so peaceful.

He looks so peaceful when he's asleep, his unconscious state leaving him lost in his dreams. Lost. Lost in his dreams like a small child. Like a small and content child. Everything from the way his long lashes brush against his smooth cheeks to how the soft snores roll through his slightly parted lips makes him appear so comfortable. And all the while, I can't help but smile.

I smile as I sit here, his head still resting against my lap where I placed it as I gingerly run my fingers through his thick locks in hopes to keep him asleep. Poor guy. I think to myself. He must've been up all night. He's gotta be exhausted. After all, based on the natural light pouring in through my windows, I can piece together that he spent the whole night watching over me. His reaction earlier gave that impression, anyway.

Wouldn't that be something? I chuckle to myself. Him, spending a whole night up to monitor me. How silly. My lips drop to a flat line. If he was up all night...if he really was up watching over me...why? Why would he do that? Why would he even care? I mean, I'm just me. I'm just Y/N. So, why would this man -this god- even care about me?

I pause, dropping my gaze back to him. He still looks so peaceful and comfortable, not a hint of stress masking his features. And as I stare at this divine being before me, I realize one thing. I realize just how beautiful and majestic he looks.

And that's when I feel my heart slam against my ribs as my face reddens.

I can feel my face flush scarlet, my cheeks and ears burning wildly like a raging fire. Something I haven't dealt with since...since I first fell for Kaito. But...but that can't be. Even now -even as I merely think about Kaito's name- my heart still beats like a set of drums. So, why is it that as I gaze at this heavenly being, I find my body reacting this way? It makes no sense.

Unless...unless I'm falling for him, too.

I shake my head, blinking. Oh, hell no. No way. I begin to chew on my thumbnail, casting glimpses at the sleeping Yato. The more I stare at him, the more I find myself being attracted to parts of him I didn't notice before. The untamed way his hair falls along the sides of his face...the way his cheeks flush a gentle pink with each breath he draws...the way his clothes hang from his frame. I notice just how...beautiful he is and beautiful he is.

To my surprise, Yato is a very beautiful man. I mean, I have been aware that he's attractive. That's no secret. Anyone who saw him would be blatantly aware of his alluring presence -it's obvious. But I had somehow overlooked just how stunning he really is.

And now this stunning creature is in my bed.

He's in my bed...his head on my thigh...sleeping and my face is growing redder and redder by the second. The last time a member of the opposite sex had been in my bed I had...well, we had...we had sex. And now...and now I'm in my bed with Yato. Granted, he's on top of my cover and I'm beneath it, both of us fully clothed. So, I know nothing happened between us. However, as I sit here, I can't help but wonder 'what if'' something had happened between us?

What if we had kissed? What if that kiss had morphed into a steamy make-out session? What if that steamy make-out session had bloomed into a moment of erotic bliss? The more I even consider the possibilities, the warmer and warmer my face becomes. Then, the more impossible it sounds.

I mean, Yato and me? Me and Yato? The two of us...being caught up in something like that? It's almost comical. After all, he's a god and I'm...I'm just me. Even if I did turn out to be a demigod, it still doesn't click. The two of us together as friends, sure. But the two of us pursuing something more? I can't comprehend the idea. It's too unfathomable. And there are a few factors that feed so heavily into my beliefs.

One, Yato has a past with Hiyori. Even though I don't know all the details, I can tell that when he saw her that night at the festival that it broke him. Two, I know that I am still very much in love with Kaito. Seeing Kaito that day and thinking about him now...my heart is fluttering at the mere thought of him. And three, even if this is something I'm feeling for Yato, there's no way he'd ever return those feelings. It's not like I'm anything special.

So, maybe I'm just feeling this way because I'm feeling lonely. That seems plausible. I mean, I haven't been touched by a member of the opposite sex since Kaito. At least, I haven't been touched that way. Perhaps being near Yato, spending time with him has reminded me of how lovesick and deprived I've felt. Maybe that's all this is. Just a little crush developed over sexual frustration. That's what I want to believe, but as I sit here gazing at the sleeping god, I realize one thing.

My heart is fluttering.

**Bello my sweet lovelies! Oh, boy. Looks like there's gonna be some conflict...maybe. What do y'all think of the situation? Just a crush brought on by loneliness or something more? Feel free to make a guess! As always, thank you so, so, SOOOO much for all your support! Y'all are the bee's knees! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. Merry Christmas!!😁