"BEING BABY IN HIS BAND"- Andrew Fowler -

CHAPTER XVI: HURTS

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TRIGGER WARNING
(self harm and cuts) 🙏🙏🙏

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Andy pov

I woke up still feel big,I smile when I see Rye sleep peacefully I snuggle more to his chest and he is smiled. 10 minutes Iater i wake up and get ready.

When I go downstairs I realized we alone again,I smiled and blush. Then I insisted to make our breakfast. So I make pancakes,I get myself a pancake when I about to eat it Rye is coming with his usual charming

"Mornin baby"he said kiss my cheeks,I blush "mornin Rye". "You make breakfast?"he ask while get himself a pancakes. I reply with a nod.

So the bad thing about not in my littlespace is being stressed and moody. I feel weight get into me and I'm sick of it,cause when I'm in my littlespace every stress and weight is gone.

We eat our breakfast and chat eachother,after finish our breakfast Rye clean the plate. "I will be in my office"he said and I nod. I'm going to live cause I'm miss roadies.

So I set up the live. I start the live it's fine at first but somehow,there's a plenty of hate comments (just you know I'm too sensitive over it) so I try ignore it. 'try'. When it bothered me too much I end up the live

My heart is hurt and I bout to cry,then I scroll my social media,and you know what there's more hate comments that really2 bad.

There some is homophobic, they call me whore,they call me the reason Rye and Nicole broke up,they blackmail me,they post something bad from me.

I can't take it anymore,I go to bathroom and start to cry silently,when I look at my cabinet I found a new razor. I look at it and my mind is going anywhere

'is it gonna hurt' 'but I have done it' 'it solve the problems' 'or it is the only way' 'it doesn't that hurt' 'it makes better' that what I thought

So I carefully scratch my left hand with it,not deep enough. I flinch but it doesn't hurt that much, doesn't feel satisfaction I scratch deeper at the fresh cut and long enough. I panting

It's hurt but it's worth it,I do the same with my another arms,deep and long enough. My vision is blurry because of the tears,my hand is hurt but it feels good. I start breath heavily.

When I look at my arms it's cuts very bad,and the floor is become a blood pool. I become panick and slip into my littlespace,and what's bad about it,is this shit is hurt so bad.

I start fell on my butt and screaming. "DADDYYYY" I sobs loudly because of the sudden pain. "DA..DADDY... HWE.....HWEPPPP" I scream louder,I sobs uncontrollably and maybe getting sick. I felt dizzy and my arms is numb

Rye pov

I hear my baby screaming. I up and run into bedroom,I hear his loud cry and sobs in bathroom. When I open the door my heartbeat stop a while.

My poor baby lay on the floor with arms numb to his side with blood all over it. He is so pale and desperate. He is sobbing loudly and gag like he is gonna sick

"OH MY GOD BABY WHATS HAPPEN"I said run through his side. I feel tears stream down my face. And I carefully pick him up.

"NUU DADDY HWUTSS"He say crying,"I know baby"I say crying too. I feel his numb body over me,I sat him on the toilet and hold to support him. I start clean his blood with water and he screaming loudly

"NUUUUU"He scream and crying. "Shushh baby j know it hurt but it will help"I said. He is sobbing while I clean his blood. Then I wrap his both arms with bandage. I'm feel bad why he is do this again. It's all my fault

So after I clean the floor I gently pick him up. He rest his head on my shoulder and numb hands around his body. I gently rock him but it doesn't work he already calm down a bit but still sobbing uncontrollably

"Baby shush you will sick"I said and yes tears still stream freely down my face. I go to the kitchen and make his formula. After I finish I go to his nursery. I quickly put a fresh nappy and put an onesie.

then I go to our bedroom,I lay down and carefully lay Andy on my chest he is already calm down just a few sobs

I put the rubber to his mouth,he accepted it and suck it slowly. I feel he is getting to tired,he start close his eyes. After the bottle is finish I hear a light snore. I put the bottle at the bed table beside me and replace it with pacifier

I wrap my hands around his waist. I kiss his bruised arms, forehead,head,eyes,nose,both if his cheeks,both of his eyes,chin,and lips.

My hurt still clenched and I hug him thightly but gently enough. I put the cover until his shoulder.I smiled painfully while watching his pale face and lips,his tears stain cheeks,mess blonde hair,and a his beauty face sleep peacefully.

I swear I will protect him all cost. And with that I drifted to sleep.

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A/N
SO MAYBE I WILL NOT PUBLISH CHAPTERS FOR A WHILE CAUSE NEXT WEEK I HAVE FINAL TEST HUFT. BUT YEAH THIS IS YHE CHAPTER,SORRY IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE,HONESTLY IM SORTY IF IT NOT HOW ITS GOING CAUSE I NEVER CUTS

AND TO ALL OF YOU WHO EVER DO THIS I WANNA SAY STOP,I KNOW ITS HARD BUT STOP IT SLOWLY,BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT AND BEAUTIFUL. YOU'RE ARMS ARE TO BEAUTIFUL TO HAVE THIS MEANLESS WOUND. AND ALL OF YOU WHO STOPS AND TRY TO FIGHT AGAIN YOU HAVE THR BEST COURAGE EVER. SO YEAH WE ALL LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU 🌹🥰🖤🖤

PEACE,LOVE AND ENJOY XD