GOODBYES [r.m]

FIFTEEN

Sammy's POV

"Is this his house?" Jasmine asked me as we pulled up to benny's house. "This is the address archie sent me so I'm guessing it is." I shrugged. "Go get em, tiger." She winked at me as she unlocked my door.

I was about to open my door but then I paused.

"What if ben-" jasmine cut me off with a dramatic sigh.

"Stop being a pussy and go get your mans." she pushed my shoulder. "fine. if I embarrass myself then I'm blaming you," I rolled my eyes at her as I opened my car door. I stepped out and closed it.

I walked to his porch and rang the door bell. I began rocking back and forth on my heels. I turned around to see jasmine giving me a thumbs up.

the door opened which startled me.

"hey," benny looked me up and down with a smile. he wore his classic denim jacket with a black shirt and jeans.

"hey," I replied awkwardly.

"we need to talk," he sighed. "I know," I nodded. we sat on his porch swing, he placed his hand on my knee.

"i'm sorry for overreacting the other night. i just freaked out and didn't know what to do," he explained. "ben, I should be apologizing to you. I lied to you about how I felt about reggie. me and him are just friends but if you're uncomfortable with that then just tell me," I replied.

"what? no. i don't want to be that guy. you and reggie obviously had a history before I came along. if being friends is helping you cope with the old relationship then go ahead. whatever works for you," he was being too sweet and understanding that I couldn't understand why.

"you're too sweet for this world, benny. you know that?"

Reggie's POV

"um mom, dad, this is my girlfriend. leah," I introduced my parents to my girlfriend. I invited her over for Thanksgiving dinner and she was super happy to come over. I was too, I guess.

don't be like that. give leah a chance.

"nice to meet you, mr. and mrs. mantle. reggie has said many great things about you two," lead said and shook my parents hands. "I'd hope so," my mom said with a smile and winked at me.

"wish I could say the same thing," I heard my dad mumble.

we sat down at the table. my uncles, aunts, and cousins came right before the food the fully cooked.

"ayo, reggie, who's this sweet pea?" my cousin, Jerry, asked as he sat across from me. he looked at leah who was blushing next to me.

"this is my girlfriend, leah. leah this is my least favorite cousin, jerry," I said sarcastically. "I love you more, man," he repulsed.

"nice to meet you," she said softly. "nice to meet you, sweetheart. but what are you doing with this idiot?" he made her laugh as they shook hands.

"ha, ha, very funny. now can you shut up?" I asked.

once we were all seated, we began to eat. we talked, laughed, bragged, roasted each other. a lot of things.

"so how long is this relationship going to last, reggie?" my uncle, Paul, asked me as he drank from his wine glass. "excuse me?" I was caught off guard.

"your old man was telling me about your last girl... sara? no... sammy? yeah, I think it was sammy. supposedly she was supposed to be the one, what happened?" I was furious. why would he say something like that? why did he have to bring her up in front of everyone?

everyone at the table gasped.

"that's none of your business, ass face," I said. "manners, Reginald!" my mom said.

"I'm just asking a question, reggie. what happened? because she seems to still have an effect on you. your father told me what she did with your friend, archie. and what she has done for you. why'd you let that go?" I banged the table after he spoke.

I grabbed leah's hand and took her outside. she hadn't said anything which worried me.

"you okay?" I held her hand. "w-why did you lie to me about sammy? I thought she was your friend..." leah's voice was filled with shock and hurt.

"look she's just a friend now. she never meant anything to me," I was lying to her and myself. I knew damn well i still loved sam. for god's sake I cried over her all summer!

but I didn't want to feel that way anymore. I was tired of feeling vulnerable. Sam has this affect on me and she probably always will.

I want her out of my head.

Sammy's POV

"well that was... terrifying. I'll never forget this Thanksgiving," benny said sarcastically as we walked to his porch, hand in hand.

"yeah, archie's mom is currently my new obsession as well," I said which made us both laugh.

while at the center, we were being held hostage by Dodger's family. i hadn't experienced anything like that in years. honestly, my family would've done something like that but that's not the point.

benny had tried to protect everyone there by trying to grab the gun. it didn't work unfortunately. either way, everyone left still alive.

me and benny made up which made me happy.

"I had fun tonight. even though we almost witnessed death," benny said. "me too," I nodded and gave him a smile.

for a moment we stared in each other's eyes. they were different. which I liked.

but they weren't reggie's eyes.

why did I have to think of reggie at a moment like that? he's with someone else meanwhile I'm struggling to stay with someone. I'm still trying to figure out my feelings for benny. I feel something there for is both but it isn't as strong as I want it to be.

i want something stronger than reggie's love, but is it possible?

I wish my feelings for reggie disappeared. I wish I felt nothing for him. he ruined me, I lost my brother and sister, my dignity, I almost lost my life because of him.

and even through it all, I still love him. I hate the fact that I still love him like he's the best person in the world.

I wanted him out of my head.

and so I did something that I hope makes me lose feelings for reggie.

I pulled benny towards me, cupped his face and kissed him.

I kissed him and I felt a spark. that's what I needed. exactly what I needed.

let's hope being with benny helps me lose feelings for reggie.

a/n

um okay... well that happened.

not my favorite chapter by far. but things are gonna get... difficult soon.

until next time, peace!