Overdose

29. Yvonne Mcreary

It was really dark outside. Damion was in the backseat, fast asleep. I was trying to fall asleep but my anxiety was fighting me. It was odd. I don't know if it was my mental illness or what, but it seemed like during the day I was always tired, but when it came to night time I could never fall asleep.

"How are you holding up?" I thought Lazarus was talking to me until Lilith answered.

"I just saw two people die." She responded bluntly. The cheerful Lilith had disappeared, and even though I only knew her for a short time, I knew that something was very wrong.

"I understand that could be traumatizing. You should try to get some sleep."

"I'm not tired."

Lazarus cleared his throat. "Then you should talk to me. What are you going to do when we reach Ivingly? Are you staying with Yvonne?" I didn't know why Lazarus was so intent on talking to Lilith. It was clear that she was not in the mood to be talking, but either he didn't notice or he didn't care. Or maybe he did care.

"No. I'm staying with Damion. I've been close with him for a long time, so I want to stay with him."

Fair enough.

"You're staying with a boy?" Lazarus sounded concerned, but then he changed his tone. "Are you going to go to school?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Are you and Yvonne good friends?"

"I trust her a lot, and I'm very close with her. We shared a room in The Facility, and I'm grateful she's by my side. I just wish that she wasn't so...sad all the time. It really hurts to see her like that, and I try to stay upbeat around everyone so they'll be upbeat too. It doesn't seem to work. I don't want to be one of those people who are moping all the time. I want to be known as the girl who is always happy, even if it means I have to hide how I'm really feeling." Lilith paused. "I'm sorry for unloading on you. But it's so exhausting holding everything in to myself all the time, I never get to say how I feel. And for some reason, I feel like my secret is safe with you." Lilith was opening up fast, as if something in her snapped. All of the sudden, she was telling her life story to him. As if he had put a spell on her.

It took everything in me to not cry at that moment. I felt like such a terrible person. Lilith was always so happy, and the one time she showed her true emotions I was too focused on escaping. Evan told me that sometimes you have no idea how people are feeling, so you can't blame yourself in moments like this, but that didn't stop me from feeling like I had been neglecting Lilith's feelings. Especially since she had been there for me through everything since I came to The Facility.

"I think it's important for you to be honest when it comes to your emotions." Lazarus cleared his throat again and changed the subject. "So, what do you like to do?"

"Read and talk to Damion and Lilith."

"Anything else?"

"Well, I promised Dr. Evelyn that I'd help her with her greenhouse when I got out, but now that's never going to happen."

"I could take you to it."

"What?"

"Dr. Evelyn and I were very close. I know where her greenhouse is. I will take you to it, if you want."

"Why did Dr. Evelyn never mention you when we were talking, then? If you're The Master, and so important, then why don't I have any memories of you?"

"I've been busy." Lazarus harshly turned the car, and I hit my head against the window.

I lifted my head up, putting my hand across the bruise. "Like I need another one." I said to myself.