Overdose

44. The Executioner

While the others went back to school, I wasn't so eager. My mom had asked me about going back but I told her that I didn't really want to think about that.

Nathaniel and I were home alone. My mom had gone to work, and Tristan and Yvonne had gone to school.

"Could we eat something?" It was the first thing Nathaniel said to me that morning.

"I'd say leftovers, but there are none." That was partially my fault. But after Nathaniel had gotten past the heat, he was eating entire plates in minutes.

"What a shame." He took it upon himself to look through the cupboards. I didn't stop him.

"Can you make this?" He asked, handing the box to me. Mac and cheese. A simple "just add water" kind.

I got to making it while Nathaniel took a shower. He was too tired to take one the night before, from the ride or the food, I wasn't sure.

Yvonne had not told me what they talked about when they were in my room during dinner. I had tried to ask, but she said that she didn't want to talk about it. I tried to persuade her to tell me, but she was dead set on not telling me.

When Nathaniel had come back down, the food was finished. I was putting it in bowls when he asked me the second question that day.

"How do you feel about your dads' death?" He asked it like it was some casual question, like "You alright?" or "Can I have a fork?" He took a bite as I tried to find a way to answer his question.

"Well..." He made eye contact with me, waiting for an answer. "I don't really know what to say, I mean..."

"Is it hard to answer because you caused it?" He went to the dining room and sat down, leaving me in the kitchen, shocked.

After I composed myself, I followed him to the dining room. "What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Xander killed him because you tried to escape, right?"

"Yes, that's true." I looked down, and the lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. "But I don't think it's fair to say that I caused it."

"I think that's exactly what it is."

We ate the rest of our food in silence. There was something wrong with Nathaniel, but I couldn't tell what it was.

I chalked it up to him not being able to communicate with many people while he was locked up. He did have Lilith, but that was it. His questions were intrusive, and he didn't seem to notice how they affected people. Or maybe he did. Maybe he knew what he was doing. I made a mental note to be more cautious about what I said and did around him after that.

The rest of the day, I walked around the house, trying to take in everything I had forgotten. The hints of blue that my mom insisted on putting in, the constant smell of lavender that my mom loved, the photographs of my family on the wall. I looked at the one that had my parents, my brother, and I. The fair had come to Ivingly, setting up in Erron Park. We took a photo in front of the Ferris Wheel. Tristan was holding cotton candy, my mom was holding a big teddy bear that my dad had won for her, and my dad was standing there with his arm around my mom. I was standing next to Tristan, smiling.

It had been a while since I had done that, smile. I didn't have a reason to. In fact, I wouldn't have been surprised if I wasn't even able to at that point.

I heard Nathaniel put his bowl in the sink. "Evan?" He called out.

I went back to the kitchen. Nathaniel was leaning against the counter, arms crossed. "So, what do we do now?"