FLAWED SOULS

CHAPTER 14: TEARS AND NIGHTMARES

Dedicated to khalifamyk

"Some people have mastered the art of masking their emotions so much that sometimes, they do not know what they truly feel."

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Amirah hated the tears, once they started, they seemed to refuse to stop. Crying was for the weak, Hajiya had once said, crying doesn't solve anything but gives you more reason to indulge in self pity.
She'd lived with that thought, she'd masked her emotions and sometimes she really didn't know what she was feeling or what she wanted to feel.

When the tears stopped pouring out, she scoffed at how pathetic she must look, sitting on the floor, crying. Why? Why was she crying? Over something silly as no-one ever sitting her down to ask about how she felt, she almost slapped herself. That was the thing about the tears, once they began to pour out, they don't stop and when they finally do, you're left feeling silly and pathetic about letting the first drop fall in the first place.

She couldn't deny the tears brought a sense of relief but along with it was a nagging feeling of self-loathe and self-doubt. Muhammad loved her but will he still if she showed him her real self? If he knew the baggage that came with Amirah Aliyu Balarabe? Will he still care if he knew she was more of her mother's daughter than anyone else?

She went into the bathroom and washed her face, she shouldn't care, it wasn't like she loved him. With a bright smile plastered on, she went to Na'eemah's room, she'd promised to take her outing.

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It was late and Amirah was in her room sketching. Baba had arrived earlier in the day while she and Na'eemah were still out and when they'd arrive Na'eema was bustling with excitement to go and see him but Faridah had informed them he was in his room with Hajiya. Three hours later and still neither of them was out.

Amirah was scared on her mother's behalf, Hajiya might be troublesome and some people might even consider her evil but no one understood the woman more than Amirah and she was her mother's favorite child, a fact all her siblings were aware of.

"Are you busy?" Khadijah asked poking her head into the room, a small smile on her face.

"If I say yes will you go away?" Amirah asked teasingly.

"Nope!" Khadijah stepped in and jumped ontop the bed with a sigh.

"I missed you. I just heard from Fareedah you're going back to Lagos tomorrow and I knew I had to speak to you."

Amirah closed her sketch book and kept it aside.

"It's about Hajiya."

Amirah nodded, "what about her?"

"Someone needs to speak to her Amirah, she's being unfair. I overhead Mama on the phone, she was telling ya Lawal she wants to divorce Baba."

Amirah's eyes widened. Aunty Amarya divorce Baba? That was totally unexpected. With every treatment melted out to her by Hajiya and Baba's silence she shouldn't be surprised but she was because Aunty Amarya has been patient and quiet all these long years, what's the change now?

"I totally support her because we all know Baba doesn't deserve my mother."

Amirah let out a humourless laughter, "He deserves Hajiya right?"

Khadijah shook her head vehemently. "That's not what I mean..."

"I know, I know. It's just that I can't imagine this house without Aunty Amarya."

"Why not? It's not like she's been living here. She stays outside the main house like an outcast, I'm sorry but I can't help the resentment I feel towards Hajiya."

Amirah was quiet because she knew what was to come next, this wasn't a first.

"And you need to stop what you're doing to yourself, whatever it is, it wasn't your fault and Hajiya isn't your guadian angel."

Amirah shook her head, "you won't understand."

"I will if you just tell me. I'm your bestfriend! For years I've watched you become the opposite of the Amirah I thought I knew, slowly you're turning to become like Hajiya and I know you know that."

Tears polled in Amirah's eyes, "you don't know anything." She said in a small voice.

"How about you tell me something? Please Amirah. Muhammad called me to talk about you. I warned you didn't I? You were..."

"What did he tell you?" Amirah demanded, her voice now louder.

"You know what you've been doing to him. Stop it before it becomes too late and you begin to regret."

"What do you know? Nothing, so don't judge me!"

"I am not judging you, I am warning you. Goodnight, have a safe flight."

Amirah watched as Khadijah exited the room without another word. She laid down on the bed, her heat pounding.

"Come here." His voice was low.

"You're very beautiful Amirah, do you know that?"

She shook her head.

"Now you do and never forget that okay?" He said pulling her by her hand towards him.

"Now you touch it, veeeerry gently, like this." He wrapped her small palms around his genital and let out a small moan. Amirah watched wide-eyed.

"Then you rub gently like this.... mmmhmm, goodness!" He moaned and she quickly pulled her hand back.

"Now don't be scared pumpkin, you aren't hurting me at all, you're making me veeerry happy okay?"

She nodded her head and let him guide her hand.

"Now the next is your mouth, you love lolipop right?"

She nodded eagerly.

"Imagine this is a lolipop."

"No, no, no." She began to pull back but his strong grip forced her head in place.

"Open your mouth and lick it!" He ordered his strong grip becoming even stronger causing her to whimper.

Amirah shot up from the bed with a strangled cry, she immediately ran out of the room and made her way in the darkness into Hajiya's.

Her mother was just coming out of the bathroom.

"Amirah what is it?

She didn't say a word as she simply hugged her mother and let the tears roll out, she began to sob.

Her mother began patting her back and then led her to the bed.

"Nightmares?" Hajiya asked and Amirah nodded.

"It's okay. He can't touch you again, he won't touch you again." Her mother pacified.

A/N:

Hello, how are we? Hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it's totally short😓

Please vote and comment your thoughts ejorrr, abeg.

Happy new year everyone. Please set goals you can attain eh😁😁