This is my life

31:) Broken heart.

"Doctor, where is Reagan? I checked her room but she wasn't there. Did someone shift her into a different room?" I pleaded for an answer.

"Shanae, I need you to calm down first,"

"I can't calm down until you give me a damn answer," I shouted.

"I'm sorry Shanae, we did our best. Reagan's Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia was out of control, the number has been growing faster than normal and it's refractory. That means it's resistant to treatment and it's not easy to cure. After you left we had a surgery to remove her spleen and through that process we had lost a huge amount of blood. We had to stopped the surgery and that's when we lost her," she proclaimed.

"No, no, no. You're lying please just tell me she's still breathing out there," I sobbed on the palm of my hands.

"She knew it was going to happen, she didn't want to tell you about the surgery. She didn't want you to worry," she announced apologetically.

"Here, she left a couple of things for you," She handed me a box with a post-it note of my name on top of the cover box.

"You can stay here for awhile, i've to go back to my patients. I'm sorry for your lost," She apologised.

I took off the lid and looked inside. The first thing I noticed was a letter that was positioned at the side of the box. I unfolded the letter with my fingers and scan my eyes throughout the paper.

Dear Shanae,

Thanks for everything that you've done for me. Sorry for being such a pain in the arse. That day when I first met you in the hospital, was the first time I had my chemotherapy. When I saw your face, you reminded me of the love of my life. Her name was Violet, she looked exactly like you. She's probably you in another body, living a different life. She was depressed and she committed suicide, it was probably my fault for not being there for her. I guess this my karma for killing her inside. What i'm trying to say is that, I don't want to see you cry or whimper like a little child. I want to be there and not neglect you like what I did to Violet. But instead you were there for me. So don't cry and live your life with Joey, I know you may never love me like I love you so don't let go of your love ones. Live your life with a smile and turn your life around who knows, there may be no tomorrow.

Love ~ Reagan.

I was crying my lungs out, I was sobbing so hard that it was difficult to breathe. I closed the lid of the box and walked out of the room. I then made my way towards Joey and cried my eyes out. It hurts everywhere, my head, my eyes, my lungs and my broken heart. I couldn't believe this day would come. Joey then embrace me and consoled me, she walked me to the car and by the time we reached home it was 12 in the morning. Soon after my mind went black.