i approached Jonah's door alone the next Saturday. It had been a week since we talked but it was finally time to address it. The whole week jack had changed from the lie. He was once so cocky and confident but now he was replaced with a silent yet empty shell of himself. Nothing scared me more.
I didn't know how to feel about jonah anymore I couldn't wrap my head around it.
'What changed? Was it shame?'
I rang the doorbell taking a deep breath. It was now or never. The door opened revealing Ester his sister. "Hey zach!" She smiled brightly inviting me in. "Jonah's upstairs but knock first He's with his boyfriend." She commented with a wink. I gave her a nervous smile before traveling through the familiar halls of the house. I entered his room without knocking and there daniel sat on the floor of the room. I could see his sad eyes stare at the floor and jonah sat at his bed not saying a word until he saw me. His eyes widened at my presence. "We need to talk." I declared causing daniel to stand up.
"I was just leaving anyways. Have at it." He left in a hurry. Jonah looked up at me "I'm so sorry." I didn't respond I just watched his eyes. I wanted to know if he truly meant it and he did as his eyes glossed and he tried to hold his forming tears back. "I shouldn't of lied I was so ashamed..so so ashamed of what I did. I'm sorr-" "Pathetic." I interrupted learning coming here wasn't a good idea.
I knew what he said he meant..but a sorry wasn't enough. "What?"jonah asked his voice small, worried and broken.
"You're pathetic. You're a sloppy drunk and a molester. I don't care about your explanation jonah don't ever come near me or my boyfriend ever again." I spat angrily. I was unbelievably angry at jonah not only had he affected me in our relationship he also affected my relationship with jack. I remembered all the times I was consumed with guilt to the times I was disgusted by the thought of even liking someone who I didn't know was innocent this entire time. I cursed under my breath, I was letting out all my anger that had bottled up not being able to see the person I cared about infront of me. My eyes were clouded by my hatred.
Jonah has played with my emotions in ways he couldn't even understand. He made me feel dirty for lying and keeping secrets. He made me feel so much hatred that I never thought I would ever feel for a person. He made me feel pathetic for falling for jack Avery.
jack Avery who I was beginning to think was the one for me.
"Please let me explain..I can't lose you. Zach you and corbyn mean the world to me."
That's when I broke a small whimper leaving my mouth then suddenly a sob left my mouth. I couldn't stand to see my best friend acting this way. It wasn't him this wasn't Jonah at all. I had never been this conflicted.
'What happened to the jonah I loved so much?' I thought as I felt my tears roll off my face. Jonah rushed over grabbing me into a hug and I buried my face against my best friends chest. My hands clenched against his chest I began to pound my hands against him in agony.
"How could you lie to me jonah?" I muttered out not wanting to lose him but I felt as if this was the last time I would be this close to him. "You've put me through hell and back and you don't even know it." I said louder feeling conflicted as Jonah's hands tried to comfort me. I pulled away looking away from him. I realized this was it.
I would never be able to gain that perfect friendship back with him. I would never share a smile with the boy again and I would never share a connection with the boy I've know since childhood again. He had gone too far and he wasn't the boy I thought I knew.
Despite the fact that I've been hiding something from him it was still completely Jonah's fault. Jonah wasn't someone I knew anymore. Because I had found something in my life I wouldn't let go and the cost of keeping jack was letting go of past memories.
"I don't want to see you again." I said making up my mind. It was time to let go.
The look on jacks face reassured me as I stepped inside his room. The look of pain covered his face as he looked up at his own ceiling. I knew with him I would have to give my all and without jonah there was no more holding back for me. A wave of confidence hit when I sat beside him grabbing his hands snapping him out of his daze.
he had a frown on his face as if he had lost something and maybe he did. "I want to recreate myself in your eyes. Can we start over?" His voice came out small a pleading look in the boys eyes.
"Our past makes us who we are. All that matters now is that I know the truth." I said lifting my hand to the sadden boys cheek.
"We can make it through this,okay?"
He squeezed my hand and rested his head on my shoulder, and i was almost sure I heard him mumble a 'yes.'
If only I knew he was suffering
If only I knew what was actually going through his head and how him finding out Jonah's lie would change our lives.
__________________________ 20 votes for a new chapter
Damn I need to stop listening to sad music cause now I'm planning on making this book a sad one :(
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
