Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 1

"Welcome to London Heathrow," I heard the pilot announced and I looked up from my phone which I'd been listening to music on during the fairly short flight from Belfast to London. I tapped my foot nervously as I started down at the Red album artwork as All Too Well Came on making me frown slightly before I skipped the song knowing it was too sad to listen too especially when I was supposed to be happy because I was home again after the week of touring in Ireland.

The past few months had been weird to say the least. It was a bit of a weird combination of having these amazing, wonderful experiences then more lonely times, especially at night, where things were able to get into my head and I would begin to over think everything. But when I got these highs, these amazing chances, I felt happy again but when I had these lows I couldn't really pick myself up, well I could but it seemed hard. There was this weird loneliness I had, I assumed it was just because I was only girl and tour and even if Ed was friend and so were a few members of the crew that's not really the same as being in London when my friends are right by me.

I was in love with music again, I'd been writing non-stop about anything I could, I like to create stories in my head to write songs and that helped me. I missed a lot about how I was a year before but what I learned was that there's no point living in the past and all I can do is move on and I was happy with how I'd grown up in the past months. Writing was my free therapy to me, my paid for therapy was shopping and my self-reinvention, I don't know why I did those things but I did. I let a small sigh waiting for when I'd be aloud to get off the plane and I just tapped my foot impatiently before looking back at my phone and unlocking it to scroll through twitter.

Ed Sheeran (edsheeran)

Excited to perform at the London O2 tomorrow with little @hollyparker...I've got some surprises in store for you guys

I smiled a tiny bit reading that tweet before favoriting and retweeting it before going onto Ed's account to snoop on what else he'd tweeting whilst I waited for my time to get off. "little" I was going to get him for that one later but it was pretty funny considering Ed was only an inch taller then me and he knew it. My heart froze a tiny bit when I noticed '@TheVampsJames' come up and I immediately clicked on the conversation seeing James had replied to Ed's tweet. It set some weird panic in my mind

James McVey (TheVampsJames)

@edsheeran Hope we get to see you in London

Ed Sheeran (edsheeran)

@TheVampsJames That's a must or I'll force you to.

I gulped still staring at the tweet in pure shock. I hadn't so much as thought off James since I left London...okay that's a lie I thought of him a lot but I hadn't seen his name or anything, thinking about someone and possibly seeing them are very different things and the possibility of seeing James scared me because I didn't know if I had feelings for him still and no doubt if I did and saw him it would all come flooding back. Every intense feeling I had but never got to say would come back when I saw him, I knew it would. Honestly I wasn't under any illusion that I'd never see James again, I knew that I would but I was hoping maybe I'd be able to avoid him or that I would have moved on so it wouldn't hurt me as much. I regretted not telling him the truth so much it hurt. I put on this front that I was fine, that I'd moved on and started a new chapter but it was all a load of rubbish when in reality I still have feelings for him, whether these feelings were of love or just friendship I don't know but I had these feelings never the less and without a doubt those feelings would be my undoing, if I let them get to me of course.

A few months ago I was living in one of those states of confusion. I was confused about my career, confused about who I was and confused about my feelings. It all spiraled slightly and I went from being perfectly happy to being okay. Really I didn't understand how things turned so quickly. Suddenly I couldn't write music and everything I did manage to scribble seemed awful, every outfit I had suddenly looked awful on me, I'd stopped recognising who I was because I'd changed so much to become who people wanted me to be and that was stopping everything.

I wanted a new start, a new beginning but clearly just seeing that tweet freaked me out because it showed I hadn't changed really. The tweet wasn't even a definite sign that I'd see him, it was a just a random possibility. A possibility I hoped wasn't true.

---

A/N And it's a new book. Okay this is just a setting the scene chapter but I'm really excited for how this book is going to go. Also I kinda like the cover.