Chapter 38-Moving Forward

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The snow is slowly starting to melt away, Spring is here and the weather is warming up. I wish my heart felt the same, some days i notice the feeling of ice moving through my veins. It is unsettling at times. 

It has been a long two months and school has picked back up. I graduate in a little less than two months and the Alpha games will be in September. We are as ready as we can be with the process. 

Sadie has grown quieter since our mate gave his silent rejection. What can i say to help her along? She was already  so very attached to his wolf, after all we are soul mates. We are designed to mate for life with that chosen person the moon blesses us with. 

The thought of him used to have Sadie whine out in my head, long enough and sometimes loud enough i would have to put up my walls to keep a migraine at bay. The girls usually keep me busy from random shopping trips to sleep overs and it helped. 

Tonight is no exception as it is Vicky's 17th birthday and they have decided to do a huge party. Her parents already received the go ahead from mine to invite a few other packs along  our borders. They are all overjoyed in hopes of her finding her mate, ha mate even the word gave me a sickening chill. 

We already found her dress  after a almost six hour shopping trip she finally decided on a lavender sheer and sequin dress from Sasha's Boutique.  She was in love with the dress i wore to my birthday ball and asked if she could wear a similar design. I of course agreed, here lately there wasn't much we would argue over or really seemed to care about.

Sadie and i both felt drained, I didn't realize how the mate pull would have such as effect on you. We constantly wondered how our mate was and if we had effected him the same way. I just wished he would reach out to us, if only to let us know he was okay. When we left in such a hurry i know his realm was in danger and we were very worried but he hasn't tried to contact us at all. 

Even though i didn't know his name i had assumed it to be Kalil since he was the only one i hadn't met yet as an alpha there. The King of course i had ruled out, we was the father of three after all and Kitanie's mate i was sure.  Even if there arrangement was very unsettling, apparently all the alphas were weird. 

'SARAH, CAN WE AT LEAST ASK FATHER IS THE REALM IS STILL IN DANGER? IT WOULD HELP ME TO KNOW THAT OUR MATE IS SAFE.' Sadie whined into my mind. 

'Yes, i will ask father, only for you though.' i replied back, she doesn't speak much to me anymore so if this will help her i am glad to do it. 

I put on fresh clothes, running a comb through my hair afterwards i sighed. Looking at my reflection did nothing but have me angry at myself. My eyes seemed dull and my skin had lightened considerably. 

I splashed water onto my face and patted it dry. I hated this feeling, i was starting to wonder if i would ever be the same. I had broken down one night and told Max everything. He held me as i drenched his shirt in tears. He is such a loyal friend and i felt so upset at having to burden him but extremely thankful to have him. 

He scolded me anytime i apologized for my tears. He would say "Doll, if i ever meet this so called Alpha i will gladly tear him to pieces and gift you his heart as a penitence. He doesn't deserve to claim you as his mate, i will win your hand first then claim your everything as mine." 

I smiled to myself thinking of him, his dark brown eyes always shined with such love for me i wished i could reflect it back to him.  I felt broken almost like a doll as he called me, only i was missing pieces of myself.  

Looking back into the mirror i sighed again, turning to leave the bathroom i put on the black pumas i loved to run in. I had been training more in human form since I would have to spend to long Coaxing Sadie to come out of her hole. 

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