I Wish I Could Say It Was a Mistake

Chapter 18: We made a fire, went down in the flames

The music is so loud I can't think clearly.

But there's only one thing on my mind: this is not right.

"Wait, Niall.", I say, pushing him away from me.

He lifts both eyebrows and looks at me with a confused glance, "What's up?"

He looks so sexy with his messy hair and I doubt for a few seconds.

***     One hour before    *** 

Harry's still staring at me with those big green eyes, waiting for my answer. My heart is pounding at a million beats per second. I wish I could be with him for an hour up here. I wish I could, but that would only make it worse.

"What do you say?", he asks again, "Just one hour, I promise."

What would Emma do? She'd probably... Oh f*ck it, she's never been in my position. Who knows what she would do, she's so unpredictable.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea...", I finally say.

I should go back downstairs. That's the correct decision. I'm just too afraid to say the words.

"Alright.", Harry moves his head up and down slowly, and looks down at the ground, "Let's just go back then."

Is it really the correct decision, though?

"Maybe some other time.", I try to comfort him.

Harry gives me a half-smile and shakes his head.

"Come on, let's go."

He stands up and offers me his hand to help me up. I give it to him and feel goosebumps as his skin touches mine. The night I went to his house flashes in my mind, when we held hands and he fell asleep while holding me between his arms. I felt so comfortable with him back then, but I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. 

I find it so hard to believe anything he's just told me. All these promises he's made, all this 'I love being with you' and 'I want this to work'. I used to believe that he might feel something for me, but I couldn't be further from the truth. It's obvious that he's only looking for someone to have fun with.

The problem is I can't do that, not with him. I've had friends with benefits in the past, but with Harry, it's just so different. I actually feel something for him, and knowing me, letting him pull me into this will only make my heart break in the end.

As the guard opens the door to the club, a thousand doubts fill my mind. What am I doing? Why did I say no?

Harry puts his hand on my lower back as we walk through the crowd of people.

"Oh, there you are." A blond girl who looks like a supermodel approaches us and climbs onto Harry's arm. "Where've you been?", she asks him, checking me out with a look filled with disgust.

"I'll see you around, ok?", I say. I'm so not in the mood to stand b*tchy looks from someone who's wrapped all over Harry's arm.

"Wait.", the blond girl adds, taking one of my arms, "You're not Layla, are you?"

"Careful.", Harry frowns and turns towards the girl to stop her from talking.

"What?", she pretends. "It's so nice to finally meet you. You're so pretty."

Ugh. Can she be more fake?

"Thanks. You too.", I answer.

Harry takes his hand to his neck and looks around, as if he wanted this conversation to end. Why does it make him so uncomfortable that I'm talking to her? Is she another one of his girls?

 "Harry's told me so much about you."

"No, I haven't.", Harry interrupts her.

"Really?", I laugh, surprised.

"Oh, wasn't I supposed to say that?", she laughs, looking at Harry. He pulls her closer in one sudden movement and whispers something in her ear. She laughs again and takes her hand to her mouth as if she was surprised.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know.", she continues.

"It's ok.", I answer, "See you around, Harry."

He smiles at me and I turn around. Just as I'm about to take the first step, the girl adds, "What did you even see in her? No wonder you've got tired of her already."

I feel my whole body fill with anger. Who does this b*tch think she is?

"What did you just say?", I ask her, turning back around. She opens her eyes in surprise and looks at Harry for help, although he shrugs and takes his hand to his mouth to stop himself from laughing. 

"I'm sorry but it's the truth.", she states, moving her hair back in one sudden movement.

"No, it's not. You've got no f*cking idea so shut your mouth."

The girl starts laughing. I look at Hary, but he doesn't look like he's going to get involved.

"Alright, alright. Someone's jealous.", she adds, rolling her eyes.

Now it's me who starts laughing. I have to control myself from pulling her hair and causing a scene. If we weren't in public, I would probably already have hit her in the face.

"What did he even tell you about me?", I ask.

"Nothing that matters now. I'm surprised you're taking this so personally. You look smart, you should've seen it coming."

"What?"

"Harry just doesn't do serious stuff, I'm sure you knew that. He's with a different woman every night. And judging by how you look, I'm not surprised he's already found your replacement."

"Alright, that's enough.", Harry states, putting himself between us. "What was that?", he asks the girl.

I don't stay to see the end of their argument. I just need to get out of there or I'm going to end up killing somebody. I walk away from them, and feel my bottom lip shaking. Is what she said true? Am I really not enough?

Someone grabs my hand.

"Layla, wait."

It's Harry, so I release my hand and continue walking, this time faster.  I don't want to talk to him. I just want to be alone.

"Wait, Layla please.", he repeats, standing in front of me and holding me with both his hands so I can't escape, "I'm so sorry. You know what she said is not true. She's just not in a good place right now... It's complicated. Please, please forget everything she said."

"I-", I start, but feel my voice tremble as tears begin to fall from my eyes.

"Sh*t. Sh*t, Layla, please don't cry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. You know how much I appreciate you."

"Just leave me alone, alright?"

I release myself from him once more.

"Don't go, don't walk away, please.", he begs.

"I'm sorry, Harry. This is just not me."

I turn around and walk away. This time, he doesn't try to stop me.