I Wish I Could Say It Was a Mistake

THE NIGHT: There's something happening here

"This is so weird.", she says to herself, but loud enough so I can hear it.

She rolls over and stares at me. After leaving the party, we stopped to get some nachos and ended up eating them in her apartment, lying on her bed.

"Weird?", I lift an eyebrow and rest my head on one of my fists so we're face to face. I can see her blush a little because of the proximity but I also kind of enjoy it.

"Well, you're you and I'm me."

I nod. I know exactly what she means and I was hoping she wouldn't bring it up. 

"Nachos?", I offer, as a way of changing the subject. I show her the nearly empty bag and she takes one.

"Are you going on tour or something?", she asks. Well, I guess I'm not going to be able to avoid talking about my job, so I might as well be completely honest.

"Well, I'm actually releasing an album soon."

"Really? Your second?"

"That's right.", I smile.

"You must be excited."

I shrug. I'm really excited, but I'm also really nervous. It's such an intimate album, in which I've finally done what I've always wanted to do without taking into account what everyone expects from me.

"Will you listen to it?", I ask, and wink so that she gets that I'm not putting any pressure on her.

"That depends.", she answers, and sticks one of her fingers inside her mouth and licks the remains of the nachos she just had. Normally, I would find that disgusting, but coming from her it just turns me on so much.

"On what?"

She lays on her back and turns her gaze towards me.

"Is it worth it?", she asks.

I laugh gently and shake my head. What does she expect me to answer? In one sudden movement, I crawl closer to her and rest one of my hands on her chest. She looks so beautiful I can barely believe I'm here.

She starts playing with one of my curls and smiles at me.

"You saved me tonight.", I whisper.

"A pleasure.", she jokes.

"I'm serious.", I laugh, and she frowns, "If you hadn't taken me away from that place, I would've probably ended up killing someone. Or killing myself, too. I don't know which one is worse."

"Well, you saved my night too.", she smiles. I can see a twinkle in her eye as her finger goes from my hair, through my jaw, to my mouth. I kiss it as she places one of her fingers on top of my lips. "I don't know what I would've done without these nachos."

We both smile, too tired to laugh.

I rest my head on my fist and watch her bite her lip. I've noticed she always does that when something's troubling her mind.

"Are you thirsty?", she asks me.

"I'm fine, thanks."

 "Well, I might go get some water..."

I sit up, "Let me, please."

She nods, but just as I turn my back towards her to get up, I feel her hand touching mine. As I set my gaze on her, she also sits up and rests her forehead on my back.

"He died when I was twelve.", she whispers. "My Dad. It was a car accident. It all happened so suddenly... One day we were having breakfast with him and in the blink of an eye we were at his funeral." I move my body towards her and take her between my arms. "We couldn't say goodbye.", she continues. I look her in the eyes. "Everyone thought I didn't know what was going on, but I did. I was very aware."

"I'm sorry.", I mumble, not knowing what to say.

She smiles, "I miss him so much."

A few moments go by in silence until she finally separates herself from me and states, "I just thought you might want to know."

"Thank you for telling me.", I whisper, dedicating her a comforting smile. She lets herself fall on the cushion again and rubs her eyes. "I'll be back in a second."

I get up and leave the room. Thank God, I find the kitchen easily. I get a glass and as it fills up with water, I look around. It looks like she lives with somebody else. I guess I'll find out in the morning.

There's a picture of her as a toddler with her face full of chocolate on the fridge and I can't help laughing tenderly.

I genuinely don't care if she doesn't want to kiss me tonight. We've only kissed once, and, although we've been very cuddly, I get the feeling that she might want to wait a bit. I don't mind, though, I don't mind waiting for her. I want to get to know her better, see if we can get somewhere. And for now, I'm just going to take this glass of water to her and let everything flow.

I tiptoe back to her room with the glass of water.

"Layla? I'm back.", I sit on her bed and put the glass on her bedside table. Then, I lay next to her and let her grab my hand and cover herself with it so we're spooning, "Are you awake?", I whisper, only to realise that in my absence she's fallen asleep.

I try to release myself but she's holding so hard to my arm that it's almost impossible.

I stare at her for a few minutes as I wonder what to do. She looks really cute I feel a thousand butterflies inside me just to the thought that I'm actually here with her. If I'm dreaming, I don't want to wake up.

I yawn. Would she mind if I stay here? I can always say that I fell asleep accidentally, just like her.

My eyelids are already closing, and before I can think of a good enough reason to leave, I'm fast asleep.