Framing Our Forever

Chapter 44 - Oh Don't Flatter Yourself

So a lot has happened in 17 days. I have to go to court a lot now because I no longer want to live with my mom. I still love her, I just don't think she loves me. I don't feel comfortable around her and I definitely don't feel like I'm welcome in her home.

Matt has helped me along the way. He went through this two years ago when he left his dad's for good.

The only thing that's been hard is when I have to talk in front of everyone in the room about why I don't want to live with my mom anymore. Especially since she's in that room. Sometimes after court I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. Why does life have to be like this?

One shit storm after another.

On the bright side (not), I'm getting a ton of shit from my mom's husband. He messages me on Facebook and tells me how much I'm hurting her by doing this. Well, I'm sorry. You're hurting me right now.

"Matt?" I whispered. He was probably already asleep.

"Huh? Are you okay? Do you feel sick again?" He questioned me and I replied no. I haven't been feeling well since trial had started. It's just nerves.

"I want to have sex again," I said quietly.

"Really? Why did you just think of this?" He asked resting his head on his arm.

"I don't know. I just want to feel close to you and I just kinda need it right now. Matt, I just want to cry. Things are just so fucked up right now with my mom," I said.

"Well I want to have sex with you and all, but babe, I don't want to do it for stupid reasons," Matt replied.

"I know."

I was just so out of it. I felt like I was high or something. It was so weird. I could actually use some vodka or something right now.

I can't wait for this custody thing to be over.

"You are seriously not doing this?" I squealed as Matt went under the covers and kissed my stomach.

"Yup," he said and I laughed as he started taking my shorts off. "See I'm already making you smile"

Oh don't flatter yourself.