Scars // m.c. BOOK 1 (Completed)

CHAPTER 26

Zoe's POV

"NO PLEASE LET HIM GO! JUST TAKE ME INSTEAD!  ILL DO WHAT YOU WANT!" I kneel down in front of him tears streaming down my face.

"I'll deal with him first then we'll plan what I'll do with you later,  okay honey?" Greg whispered in my ear rubbing his gun on my cheek. I just close my eyes hard keeping the tears fall down my cheek.

He got up and walk towards Michael. I tried to move but I can't for some reason.

"PLEASE NO! PLEASE LET HIM GO!" I scream loud as I can but I'm still hopeless

Michael look at me with tears in his  eyes. I just cried even more in the site of him being like this.

"I love you" he mouthed and by that I heard a gun shot.

----

I woke up when someone shaking me. Its the same dream again. I keep dreaming the same thing over and over again.

"Shh it's just a dream babe, I'm here" Michael hold me close to him trying to comfort but it seems not working.

"I'm scared Mikey, he's gonna hurt everyone that I love specially you. I don't want that to happened" he didn't say anything but hug me more tight. I have to do something about this. I won't wait to that day to happened. I'll talk to my dad.

-----

It's Saturday today so there's no school. Michael and the guys have practice, he asked me to come with him to hang out but I'm not really in the mood of going out.  The thought of the dream keeps repeating in my head, it's driving me insane.

I'm in my room just laying on bed curled up like a ball. Tears starts to fall down when the thought of Michael getting hurt because of me. I don't wanna lose him but it seem like I'm bringing him in danger when I'm close to him. I don't know what to do anymore.

I got up and search for my box. I searched in my drawers and night stand but I couldn't find it. I think Michael hide it somewhere I can't find.  I got a little mad that he need to do that.

I go down stairs search for something sharp. I feel desperate to feel something except this pain in my chest.

I search in the kitchen drawers and their I find a small knife. I took it out and saw my reflection on it. I saw my eyes all red from crying and looking pale. I run back up stairs locking myself in my bathroom.

I saw my reflection in the mirror all messed up. I'm so stupid thinking that everything's gonna be okay. But it's not! And it's all my fault. I look at the knife that's on my hand and back to my reflection.

I sat down on the floor holding the knife with a shaking hand.
I took a deep breathe when I felt a cold metal on my skin.

I pushed it harder making a deep cut on my thigh and a gushing red liquid starts to appear. I hitch a little but it felt good at the same time. I miss this feeling. I cut another one again under the first cut I made. There's satisfaction in me when I saw the cuts I made feeling like I deserve it.

I cut a couple more when I hear the front door open. Great just great. I got up and starts to clean my fresh cuts on my thigh with a hot water. Put some bandages on and wipe the blood on the white tiles.

"babe, where are you?" I heard Michael yell from down stairs. I open the shower so he'll think that I'm just taking a shower. I hear a knock on the door.

"I'm taking a shower Mikey! Give me a few minutes" I said feeling bad that I have to lie to him.

"Okay, oh and we're going out for dinner with the guys.  They miss you specially Luke. He seem worried" why is he worried about me?

"Copy! I'll be ready in 30 minutes" I hear his steps out my room. Once I hear him close the door I got out the room immediately and all I see is Michael standing by my door. I froze and just don't know what to do. Tears starts to form in our eyes.

"W-why? Why did you do this again, Zoe?" he asked still looking at me with  full of tears. I didn't say anything and just look down trying not to make a sound from crying. Im hurting him again. I made him cry again. Cause I'm a selfish bitch.

"I thought you're getting better, and now I'll see you all like that?! Blood all over your thighs?! And you lied to me!" I break into tears and my knees starts to feel weak. I feel on the floor still not looking at him. Drops of tears on the wooden floor starts to appear.

"say something!!!" He yelled making me jump.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?! I KNOW I DID AWFUL THINGS AND IM SORRY! BUT I CANT HELP IT ANYMORE! I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DO IT!" I yelled back at him. He tug his hair getting all frustrated.

"Am I not enough? Are we not enough? To make you realize that you are not alone and many people cares about you?" he said all calm. I made him feel that he's not enough even all he did for me is to protect me and make me feel loved. I cant make myself speak cause he's right. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve any of his love.

"Tell me now why?" he starts to walk towards me but I back away. He looks hurt at what I did,  I don't even know why I did that.

"I feel addcited to it. I can't stop myself not to think this way or do such thing like this. I'm broken Mikey, you dont deserve me, no one wants me"

"But I do..."