doncaster city lights | YUNGBLUD

fifty-seven

"You didn't mean it like that, right?" Dom immediately said when his face popped up on Julia's phone screen after her phone only rang once.

"Honey please don't cry," Julia said softly when she saw his eyes shining and he rubbed them roughly.

"Tell me you didn't fucking mean it like that."

Dom sounded so scared and panicked, it broke Julia's heart instantly. She sighed and leaned back against the pillow on her bed, staring at the wall for a second before looking back at the screen.

"Listen to me as I explain it, okay?"

"Julia I don't want to break up," he said before she could even start explaining. "It's gonna make it worse. I don't want to lose you."

"It's not gonna make it worse." Julia tried to stay as calm as possible, but it was hard not to cry as well while looking at the tear that was running down Dom's cheek. She didn't want to lose him either; she was still so in love with him.

"I know I'm the only thing that's stopping you from doing what you love. I don't want it to be like that," she explained to him, after which Dom immediately shook his head.

"If we break up I'll feel even more lonely. It doesn't fucking make sense!"

Julia sighed again and bit her lip. "I know you'll feel terrible in the first few weeks only. But after that you can focus on yourself because you've only been focusing on us now."

"Julia," Dom cried out, moving his face away from the phone. Julia heard him sniff and knew he was crying outside of the screen, but didn't want to show her. She felt absolutely terrible for making him feel like that, but she knew it would be for the best.

"I don't wanna break up," he cried, and Julia could see his face again. On both of his cheeks were tears and she could see he had ran his hand through his hair aggressively by the way it had fallen all over his face.

"Me neither," Julia said quietly.

"Then why the hell are you still breaking up with me at the moment?!" Dom yelled at her as his voice was breaking, making Julia silence for a little.

"Because I want the best for you."

"This isn't the 'best' for me!" Dom said, air-quoting the word best. "This is the worst thing you could do!"

"It isn't," Julia said, "It-"

"It fucking is!" Dom cut her off. "You promised we would get through long-distance! You said you would never break up with me because of it!"

"You're not even trying to see the point Dom!" Julia said loudly as well now. "You are the one who can't take long-distance and I want to prevent you from making stupid decisions because of it!"

Dom was silent for three seconds, wiping away his tears after which he frowned. "So it's my fault now," he said with a low and quiet voice.

"No it- Dom it's-"

"It is," he concluded to himself, sitting back. Before Julia could argue with him, he picked something up from his bed and threw it away. Julia could hear it shatter to pieces, causing her eyes to grow wide.

"What the fuck did you throw?" she asked him worriedly.

"Why do you care?" Dom answered her emotionlessly.

"Do you hate me now?" Julia asked him seriously, and Dom didn't say anything nor nod or shake his head. He just stared at his wall, biting his lip harshly.

"I get it if you hate-"

"I don't hate you, Dom cut her off, "I fucking love you."

It gave Julia an odd feeling in her stomach that made her want to throw up. She couldn't believe she was hurting him right now.

"Apparently you don't love me, though," Dom finished, making the odd feeling ten times worse.

"Honey I do," Julia argued.

"Don't call me that," Dom told her sternly, looking at her directly through the screen. "You know how it makes me feel."

"Dom the reason I wanna break up with you is because I love you," Julia tried to explain to him, but it seemed absolutely impossible to make him understand why she was doing it.

"Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound Julia? So fucking stupid."

He was right, though. It did sound insanely dumb, but in Julia's head it all made sense.

"I know you'll understand why I did it in a few months."

"I won't," Dom argued immediately. "You think you know what's the fucking best for me but you don't. You literally don't. You said you don't want to act like my mum but that's exactly what you're doing right now. You are deciding things about my career and won't even let me decide shit!"

Dom threw his phone on the bed so Julia could only see the ceiling. She kept staring at the phone screen, though, as she was thinking about what he said.

She had to admit he was completely right. She was steering his career by doing this and deciding what was the best for him. But still she was convinced it was for the best. It had to be.

"What would you do if you'd go back to Doncaster?" Julia asked him after a long silence between them both. For a moment she thought Dom had left the room as there was no sound coming from the phone, but then he finally spoke.

"Hang with you. Go back home."

"And then? Go back to the radio and work there forever?"

"Don't know," Dom said.

She had no idea what he was feeling right now, especially because he wouldn't pick the phone back up from the bed so she could see his face. He could be doing anything.

"But it doesn't matter anymore because I'm staying in LA now. You got what you wanted," Dom told her. He sounded so broken Julia instantly regretted every decision she had made.

"It's not that I-"

"It's what you wanted. I hope you're fucking happy now Julia. I hope you also know that I am not."

He picked up the phone and looked into the camera for a second. His eyes were puffy and red and his cheeks were even redder. Julia wanted to tell him so many things, and wanted to turn back the entire conversation, but she knew she couldn't. She broke up with Dom and there was nothing she could do about it now.

"Do you have more to say other than you're breaking up with me?" Dom asked her, only to make her feel worse. Julia stared at him with her mouth open and slowly shook her head. Everything around her was spinning but she kept focusing on Dom, deep down knowing that this could be the last time she would see his face like that on facetime.

It was for the best.

At the moment it felt like it really wasn't, though.

"Bye then Jula," Dom breathed out, which broke her heart into tiny little pieces. The way in which he used her nickname as the last thing he said over facetime was something that messed with her mind and feelings like nothing else could.

And before she could even recover from the feeling and talk to him again, he hung up.

Dom had cut off the conversation so quickly it was hard for Julia to believe it had really ended. She had wanted to tell him so many other things, explain it better, tell him everything she ever did was for him.

But now they broke up and it looked like she hated him.

Julia threw her phone away and fell down on her bed, staring at the ceiling while trying to hold back her tears. But as soon as she thought about how Dom was probably alone crying in his room right now, she couldn't stop herself from breaking down.

She tried to call Dom over and over again, text him saying he had to pick up to talk again, but he never did. All there was left to do for Julia was worry about him until she would hear from him again.

But that could take months.

-----

I am... genuinely so sorry

It's not over yet though