The Ex (Lesbian LGBT Story)

two

TW / Self-harm & Suicide

Carter

Breakfast was absolute torture. I couldn't stand sitting near her. The guilt ate at me, although I had done nothing. I wasn't the one who had came after her, I wasn't the one who was thinking about an "us" that didn't exist...

Ariana kept shooting looks at me. Fear began pumping through my veins; I tried my best to avoid looking back at her. If Jake even had the slightest clue of what was going on, he would for sure disown me as a sister.

I imagined what my words to him would be. 'Hey Jake, I think I may have feelings for your girl. She's beautiful. She likes me too.' I couldn't believe I was already thinking about having feelings when it hadn't been too long. Of course I had found her attractive before this, but she was off limits. My brothers girl and all.

My thoughts started to consume me; I didn't even notice what the conversation was, or when the server came by and placed everyone's breakfast onto the table.

I ate quickly. After finishing, I excused myself to the bathroom in an attempt to get some privacy. I needed a place to put my thoughts together. When a few moments had passed, I heard the door open from behind. I tried to act normal, taking deep breaths as I leaned over the sink, splashing cold water onto my face.

Without warning, someone was breathing onto my shoulder and was incredibly close. I flipped around.

"I can't do this, Carter." Ariana pushed me up onto the sink and held me there, an intense look on her face. "I can't pretend I don't feel this attraction to you. I've been doing it for a while now, and it's been too long."

I pushed her away. "No, no. This isn't happening," I hissed. "I already told you-"

"I'm sorry!" Ariana cried, interrupting me mid sentence. "You were alone in here. I just took the opportunity. I wanted to kiss you, to see if it was different.."

I stared at her. She wanted to kiss me?

"We can't do this, or anything, at all. At least not until whatever you're doing with my brother ends, alright? You have to stop this. You're attractive to me, even I can admit that, but you're my brother's girlfriend. This is so wrong." I muttered to myself.

"Okay, okay. Look," She was blushing, which surprised me. I usually did not have that type of effect on people. "I know it's wrong. I'm going to end it, break up with him, everything I can to end whatever ties I have with him. But what will he say to us once he knows we like each other?" She turned her head. "He won't care for either of us after this."

"He isn't going to know. No way in hell am I telling him. And neither will you." I pointed out. "And besides, I don't even know if this is real. I'm not sure of my feelings, other than lust. And lastly, did you-," I took a deep breath, hoping I wouldn't stutter as I asked, "Did you have sex with him?"

She remained silent and I laughed. I couldn't like her, I just couldn't. She did things with my brother and now suddenly she was into me? "Ariana, what...?"

"I haven't.." She burst into tears and I got off the counter and held her, despite being confused. "We tried before but it was uncomfortable for me. I've been with lots of girls and I should've known Jacob wouldn't make me happy, or be enough. He was just such a nice guy!" She continued to cry into my shoulder until I glanced at my watch and realized we had been in the bathroom for more than ten minutes.

"Ariana? It doesn't matter. We have to get back outside." I let go of her and her eyes looked even more beautiful when they were filled with tears. She suddenly leaned in and before I understood what was happening, she was kissing me. Her lips were something else. Soft... I kissed her back, and in that moment, I knew it was settled. I wanted her.