A/N: This chapter is 6,200+ words. The longest chapter I have ever written. It would have been like 10k but I am splitting it up. Please enjoy. I love you guys more than you know! 💖
-x-
(Rose's POV)
Taehyung is in the hospital.
I didn't believe it at first because I didn't understand why or how this was possible. Although the way we said our goodbyes was a bit abrupt, I didn't think the stress of all of this would end up with him popping pills until he passed out. His mother was hysterical, Joon told me. She didn't know who to call. She found Taehyung's phone smashed to pieces along with an empty pack of cigarettes, which we all know wasn't like Taehyung to be doing any of this. It raised all of us to be concerned and to drop our bullshit to be there for him.
I feel completely horrible and as if this was all of my fault. I felt in someway...I could have prevented this from happening. I'm wishing I wasn't so stubborn or hardheaded. Instead of ordering him out of my home, we should have maturely sat down and tried to weigh our options out like the team we are supposed to be. But I'm so stuck in my ways from what he did to me, that I didn't feel like he deserved it. I wish I would have known that...he truly was struggling with all of this. It wasn't fake, he truly loves me and regrets everything he did. I wish...I would have just given him a chance.
But, this could all come to an end in the way I don't want it to. The fact that I'm sitting in the back of Jimin's car, hysterically balling my eyes out on the way to the hospital to see my ex boyfriend who purposely overdosed was a lot to take in. My heart is just racing, I feel like I can't breathe and I just want to wake up from this nightmare. Taehyung doesn't deserve this, no matter what is going on. He deserved some type of punishment, but not one where he's hooked up to tubes and a machine that is tracing his heartbeat.
Namjoon reaches his hand to my lap, placing it gently to show his way of support. "I know, baby. I know how hard this is for you."
"I feel like this is all my fault." I cry.
"Don't blame yourself, Rose." Jimin comforts me, his eyes trailing to the mirror. His eyes express concern for me. "This isn't your fault. He hasn't been in the right state of mind in who knows how long. This was all on him, not you, okay? I want you to know that."
"I know all of this, but it doesn't erase that he's in the hospital. I didn't know he was this stressed out otherwise I would have felt more compelled to work with him. He wants us to be a family so bad. He loves his daughter so much and she's not even here yet, but I've seen it with my own eyes. I know he's done bad things, but he really was sorry and now..." I prevent myself from speaking my worst nightmare. My mind could barely wrap around that he is in the hospital, let alone for possible overdose. I couldn't bring myself to say the words that my mind is thinking of.
Jimin pulls up to the front entry of the hospital. "I'm going to drop you two off here, and I'm going to find us a parking spot. I'll be up there as soon as possible, but get to Taehyung, Rose. If anyone he needs, it would be you. Everything's going to be okay, okay?"
My bottom lip trembles from trying to stay strong as I bob my head.
I open my door and step out. The cold breeze whips onto my tearstained cheeks, almost giving it a burning sensation. I wait for my brother, and Namjoon walks directly over to me, placing his arm around my shoulder in a sense of comfort. I try to remain calm and collective before getting inside of the hospital. I take big breaths in and out, but I can't calm my heart rate down. My mind is spiraling to the worst. I don't know how I'm going to contain myself when I walk into his hospital room, I don't know how I'm going to react, this all just hurts my heart.
