Poetry and Thoughts

Why

Why

Why do people like me

I don't understand

I'm worthless

I'm nothing

I'm ugly

I just make things worse

Why would someone like me

I don't understand

I've come to realize I'm scared

I'm scared I'm not good enough

I'm scared of commitment

I'm scared to hurt them

I don't like hurting people

I'm not good enough for anyone

Someone asked me to be their caregiver

I'd do my best

But I know I wouldn't be good

I'm not a good caregiver

I've tried to be

He wasn't the only little I tried to be a caregiver to

I'm not good

I'm not what he hopes I am

I like him

I know I do

I just don't think I can be a caregiver

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

IM SORRY

I really wish I could be kissed by him

But he's not 18 yet

And I don't want to be one of those people

I'm sorry but I don't

Why do I always think about kissing

Maybe it's been to long

I mean it has been 4 years now

You know how I said I dreamed about him in an earlier chapter

I didn't say what happened in the dream

I know there was more but the only thing I can remember from that dream was

Was

Was

Us

Kissing

We kissed in my dream

He kissed me

When I woke up I had no idea why

Why him

Why kissing

It's been stuck in my head ever sense

I wish I didn't think about it so much

It makes me miserable

Not because it's him

Not because we are kissing

Because I wish it would just happen

I wish he'd kiss me

But it will never happen

I'll just suffer like I have for years

Just dreaming

Never reality