Poetry and Thoughts

...

I never thought I'd download this and write on here again

But I'm wrong

It was in September I was so happy

And after that I've been so happy

By why now

Why now am I feeling like this

Why can't I be happy

I had been clean from cutting sense may but I'm no longer clean

I cut three days ago even when I felt so happy but then why did I do it

Did I truly feel happy

I'm learning I no longer feel the things I thought I did

I just know how they felt so I pretend

It's like when I'm happy I know I'm happy but I don't feel happy

When I'm angry or mad or sad I know I am those things but I never feel it

I just want to feel something

Is that why I cut?

Do I could feel pain

But even then

Did I truly feel pain

I must search and search for a blade

I need it

I need to feel something

So I don't feel do insane