I miss you~catradora

Chapter 32: My Past

{Slight Suicide warning}

Catra's P.O.V

"Catra.." Adora said as she had her hand on my back slowly rubbing it along my back in circles. "You can tell me." She said as she put her other hand on mine. My knuckles were white as I was gripping the railing.

~Flashback~

"I can't deal with this anymore." I had said. I had already punched the mirror. I was tired of looking at myself crying whenever I was at that mirror. I thought breaking the mirror would help. But it only hurt me.

I thought I was too weak. You shouldn't be feeling pain anymore. After all of your 'training' with Shadow Weaver, you shouldn't be feeling anything like this anymore. You should be on top.

I was engulfed in my thoughts as I reached for a piece of the glass on the ground. "Maybe this could help me." I remember mumbling.

"If I can go through this without pain, or releasing pain, then maybe I could get used to more pain." I had said as I gripped the glass shard.

I slowly inched it towards my arm where Shadow a Weaver had whipped me so many times. I tried to find the same spot that she had hit me. Lashed me.

The glass shard was hovering over my arm. It began to inch closer and closer to my arm. I could feel my hands sweat as the glass shard shook with my hand.

I began to feel tears running down my face. "Come on. You can do it." I said to myself. The glass was gripped so tightly in my hand that I had a deep scratch that had began bleeding.

I didn't notice.

The glass was in my fur. I knew it would be a few seconds until it went into my arm. This is wrong. I had thought before I felt my ears twitch and heard someone walking.

"Hey Catra- Catra!" Adora ran towards me and grabbed the glass from my hand. That was when I noticed that it was bleeding.

"What are you doing? Catra? Catra, please tell me you weren't doing what I think you were. Catra. Catra talk to me!" Adora was spitting out every worry she had of me and grabbing the glass around me. "Catra. Talk to me. Why? What happened?"

Adora was frantically talking and crying. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't explain myself.

I told Adora what had happened but not why I was about to do something that I would regret. She helped me up while she was still sniffling and I was in shock.

She brought me back to our bunks and wrapped my hands.

"Adora.." I said with a raspy voice. I had been trying with everything not to cry anymore.

"I'm sorry I-" Adora pulled me into a hug saying, "Just promise me you won't do that again. Please don't leave me Catra."

Adora cried into my back. "I promise Adora. I swear."

~End Flashback~

"I never knew that was the real reason you were doing that." Adora said.

That had only been a few weeks before Adora and I left the Fright Zone.

"It's okay now though." I reassured her. I pulled her into a hug. "Adora. I'm so glad you were there that day. If I had gone through with that I could have gotten hurt. I could have died."

I looked down at my hand and saw the scar that had appeared from the deep mark the glass had made.

"I love you." Adora said as she traced the lines of my hand with her finger. I pulled back from the hug and moved back towards her and kissed her passionately.

I bit her lip as I heard her whimper. She began to suck on my lip as I heard myself moan. Whoa what the hell?

I started to breath deeply. I pulled back and smiled at her. "What are you trying to do to me Adora?" I said laughing at her.

She smiled at me and grabbed me by my collar and dragged me into my room.

She threw me onto my bed and sat on my hips. "What do you want me to do to you?" She asked me and bit her lip.

She ran her fingers through her hair as she started to lean down to me. I smiled as I met her hungrily.

"Catra. I love you." I smiled at her again. "I love you too. I live for you. Because of you." Adora hugged me and kissed my neck. She breathed onto my neck saying, "I'm so glad we left the Fright Zone. We never would have been able to do this."

I flipped her onto the bed and kissed her. She was smiling through the kiss as she bit my lip again. She began to suck on it after she bit it too.

"Adora.." I said leaning back. She looked up at me. We were both breathing heavily.

"We need to get back to the others. See how they're  doing." I said to her. She pouted at me. "Don't worry. We can continue this later. I promise."

Adora got up and grabbed my hand as I held it out for her.

We walked back towards Adoras room and walked into the four former Horde soldiers laughing and smiling as they had a pillow fight with each other and Glimmer and Bow.

"They really have proved that they can be with princesses and not... well, try to kill them." I laughed as Adora looked at me seductively. "Okay okay. I guess we can continue our discussion now that we know they are out of trouble." I said.

Adora grabbed my hand saying, "Doesn't mean we aren't going to get into trouble together." With a wink. I gulped as Adora pulled me out of the room.

That night was the best I've ever slept. The first I slept with Adora.