Proposal • BWS

12 • stupid idiot

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It took me a moment to realize what I was doing.

I was an idiot, fuck.

I quickly pulled away and stood there, staring at him dead in the eye and suddenly I had the urge to just leave him without anything to say.

"Lynn."

"Sorry." I mutter, quickly as I could so this could be over with. "I'm gonna go..." I slowly back up and turned around to head to my car. "Um, okay." He said softly and worriedly, I could sense his confusion.

Once I was out of the building I ran to my car and quickly shut the door, worst fucking decision ever.

"Oh my god I'm such a dumb bitch!" I hit the steering wheel and rested my head on top for a couple of seconds. I wanted to apologize again so badly, I felt so guilty for kissing him and now all I want to do is say fucking sorry.

I looked up, zoning out.

He probably is so confused that he doesn't want to see me again, he'll probably tell Erin then we'll have a goddamn fight and our friendship would be over.

I think I'm overthinking.

But what if I'm not?

Gosh this is so stupid.

Suddenly I noticed a figure on the buildings entrance, it was none other than him, Brad. He was scanning the parking until he saw my car, I quickly started he car and once I did that, I waited to see if he would do anything, well, to my surprise he did nothing at all.

He just stared to my direction then I drove off.

I didn't want this to happen, now I have to fix this mess.

-

Moments later, I felt really tired and sad that I just wanted to cry my fucking eyes out but don't want to make much of a scene about it because, I'm definitely fucked.

It was now 4 am, and hour has passed since that shit happened and let me tell you, I'm not getting any better. I mean who would when you just kissed a man with a fiancé, what kind of voodoo magic is that?

I was too scared to show up to their house, especially when the boys or Erin invites me over or when the boys decides to tag me along including Brad.

I'm really scared, what if Erin would find out?

I mean, obviously everything would go to shit and think that I'm a horrible person.

I was cut off by my phone ringing, suddenly snapping out of my thoughts.

It was Erin. Why would she call this early?

Hesitantly I picked up my phone and answered the call, "Hello?" I said, shaking heard in my voice. "Hey." She said softly, fuck. "What's up?" I said, tried to sound happy but, ended up sounding pathetic.

"You've got a minute?" Erin asks, "Yeah of course, why?" I began to fidget with my hand. "Could you like, come over tomorrow? I really just want to relax with someone." She tittered. "You have Brad, why not hang with him?" I felt my heartbeat start to increase and suddenly felt so miserable.

"He has something to do tomorrow, just told me a couple of minutes ago. Are you free?"

"I mean,"

I hesitated.

"Even for a couple of hours only." She giggled. I felt bad for Erin, she has always been a good friend to me and I can only return the favor. "Sure."

What the fuck did I just say?

"Great! Come whenever. I'll prepare snacks and shit." Erin squealed, I still don't get why she decided to call me this early, knowing that I'm awake. That made me even nervous about the situation at hand, some people can say it was just a kiss but, fuck it's not.

"Okay, I'll see you." I replied bluntly, "Great! Bye." The calls ends.

I am lost in words, I have no idea what the fuck have I just done. I guess all I have to do now is go with the flow and avoid the situation or him, mostly. I feel like that's the only way to forget about it, also by talking to him but, nope, that ain't happening now.

So instead I went to bed a hope to God this will end soon.

It's crazy how much you can so something not even that bad to most people and feel like it's the end of your life.

But I couldn't sleep.

So I opened my phone and scrolled through twitter and so much bullshit is happening there, I just want to see some good stuff.

Then I realized, oh yeah, Tristan.

I immediately closed the app and opened the messages, texting Tris.

Me:
💀 ugh.
4:45 am.

Tristan:
What?
5:01 am.

To my surprise, he was awake. I then told him about what happened and basically ranted to him. I ended up calling him because my fingers were tired.

"Tris." I said after a couple of rings, "What the hell? So what did he do?" He sighed, his voice a bit loud and seems like he's been awake for a while now. "Nothing, I said sorry then left then minutes later he came out of the building and just stood there." I said, breathing heavily as I look up at the ceiling.

"Gosh what have I done." I chuckle.

"What have you done." He said, more of in a statement form, he wasn't really asking. "Are you mad at me?" I asked, worried he might be disappointed. I mean, there's no reason for him to be disappointed but I just feel like I didn't follow what he said and I'm a bitch for that.

"Maybe, no, I'm not, but- you know what? Can we meet?"

"I've got somewhere to go later, sorry mate." I purse my lips. "No like, right now?" He coughs, I zoned out for a bit, it was quite unusual, it was quarter to six.

"Yeah okay, where we meeting?"

"There? Maybe? If that's fine, I'm way too lazy to find a place to meet to be honest." He giggles, I smile at him.

"Sure, let me just tidy the fuck up."

"Alright, be there in five."

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Hey

Hope y'all aren't mad at me for not updating this book lmao. I literally have no motivation and when I try to update it just gets lame. BUT ANYWAYS HERE'S A CHAPTER AND HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS BORING ASS :)

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