Proposal • BWS

25 • Never apologize for your feelings

It's been a long time  since Connor has talked to me at my apartment, and I tried to not think about it too much.

but I did think about it too much.

"I don't know if I should tell you this but you're the only person, well, right now who's available so like..." I awkwardly sighed and locked my eyes on the floor.

"So Connor came over a couple days ago and ever since that day I couldn't let go of what he said and he went all serious with me and I didn't know what to do-"

"You know, you have this weird habit, you keep rambling and I can barely understand you." 

"Yeah right Tris, so as I was saying." I said in a fast manner, this thing really got into me to the point where I just want to know everything all at once without having to take a break from it, curiosity kills the cat. 

"Yeah yeah, but please speak, slower?" He said, he tilts his head, waiting for me to say something. "Or maybe just get straight into the point you know that could work too." Tris giggles and I sighed. 

"Connor came over right?" I said as slow as I could, "mhm?" Tris hums, raising a brow. "So basically he asked me about how I feel about, you know, and I said that, I-I still had? And, he said to keep those feelings..." I said unsure, I didn't really want to tell this to him but I have no other choice and I wanted it to let it out of my chest. 

He was just as confused as me, "Okay so,"

"have you got any clue on why Connor asked you that?"

"No! I haven't Tris, that's why I asked for your help." I chuckle, he does the same. "Okay well, any unusual actions from Brad recently?" Let me re-call the stuff that has happened with Brad recently, first, we literally ran our way to the "vintage shop" due to rain, second, he fucking kisses me out of the blue, but he was drunk, despite that I was still confused because I know he still has control and is quite sober. 

Second, he stayed over which he wouldn't do at all because he's literally scared for some reason and he hasn't come here since, you know, we parted. 

"No, nothing." I tried my best to lie, but he knows I can't lie and I'm terrible at it. 

"Sure Jan." He rolls his eyes and locked his eyes to the floor, "D-did it happen again?' He stutters, I immediately felt bad because I knew what he was feeling, like you're trapped in this room, like you can't go beyond that line, because no matter how you try, you still keep getting back in that spot where you were always at.

"C'mon you can tell me anything." He says softly, almost like he was whispering, placing both his elbows on his legs. I tried to act calm and pretend that I didn't know what he was talking about because I know how he feels towards me and, I don't want to make it more hard for him. 

"What do you mean by 'did it happen aga-"

"Lynn, stop acting like this, you used to tell me everything until this happened. I want you to open up to me so we could fix this, isn't that what you want?" Tris was practically yelling now, I just don't want to hurt him. 

"Okay! Yes fine it did happen again, but only because he was drunk! I pulled away immediately because we all fucking know that it isn't right." 

He didn't say a word, he was just looking at me. I get it.

"As much as I want him back, I can't have him back. He has a fiance, Tris, he's found the right one for him." I was tearing up, I couldn't fight them back, I just wanted to let go. 

"I shouldn't have kissed him in the firsts place, what was I thinking!? I'm so fucking stupid and this is all my fault." 

"Hey, you're not stupid, it's not your fault. Never apologize for your feelings."

I shot my head up, "He said that as well." I whispered, "Who? Brad?" He questioned, "Never mind." I started to fiddle with the hem of my shirt and got really nervous for a second. "Okay?" I leaned further back on his seat and sighed, "If you ask me I think you should investigate." Tris says confidently, I chuckle at his words, "Investigate? What am I the FBI?" I roll my eyes, I can believe he said that. Even if we did that it would be pointless because I'm a fucking chicken and I forget lots of stuff. 

"I'll help you then, we gotta know Brad's side on this, maybe he told someone something?" He shrugs and I just stared at him, slowly trying to understand what he was saying. I was too confused by the fact that he was actually serious about this, well, it's either I agree or I stay a chicken. 

"Why would he- , you know what? Fine, but can we not make ourselves too obvious because that would be creepy, also that's not how you do it! Right? Also if he finds out that I'm practically stalking him he would be questioning his trust in me and-" mid way I was cut off by Tristan laughing. "What?"

"O-okay, first of all, we aren't stalking him." He stops and gasps for air, "second, you need to calm down. Third, we're only going to play it simple, like, while having a conversation with him we should try to make our way to get to that point eh?"

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm doing this." I groaned and stood up to get some water. 

"C'mon Lynn it's not like we're gonna plant a microphone on him and listen to what he says twenty-four seven, jeez." He huffs, I continue to walk towards the kitchen without saying anything, I was unsure of what to do at this point. 

"Look, you don't have to worry, I've got you and if he says something you might not like then I'm gonna beat him up." I chuckle, "Thanks," I smiled, "I guess." 

"So when are you planning to start?" Tris stands up and slowly makes hi way towards me, I continue to look at him while taking a sip of my water. "hm?" I said, why is he asking me this? 

"You know, I should be the one asking you that." I place the glass down and raised my brows. "Well, you're the one who wants to know what he feels towards you am I right or am I right?" He says, mockingly, I playfully rolled my eyes and huffed. 

"Yeah whatever Tris." I giggled.

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[Hey! I'm back folks, did you like the chapter? damn I really hope you did, as usual, I'm sorry for the delay of this chapter but here we are. Oh, and don't worry, I've got the plot sorted out and let me tell you, you have so much more to read. Please share, vote, and comment on this story if you wish! ILY ALL THANKS FOR 7K!!!]