My Teacher is a Gangster

70. HOPIA

A month had passed but what happened that night was still clearly engraved in my mind.

"All of these troubles happened because of you Sison."

Condrad's words were hard to forget. Is he right? Ako ba talaga ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari?

That night she was shot instead of me. She had saved me, again.

We were supposed to save her. I was desperate to save her. Pero mas lalo siyang napahamak dahil sa akin.

I also put the lives of Neil and Sir Herrera in danger. They were badly hurt. Mabuti na lamang at wala silang naging matinding pinsala.

Maybe Condrad is right. Kasalanan ko lahat ng nangyari. Everything was my fault.

Kung hindi ko sinabi sa kanya ang problema ng kompanya ay hindi sana siya lumapit sa kanyang ama.

She had to sacrifice in order to help us. Umalis siya at napilitang tanggapin at gawin ang isang bagay na labag sa kanyang kalooban.

If only I could turn back time, sana ay hindi ko na lang siya kinausap noon. Sana ay hindi na lang niya nalaman ang problema namin.

I am mad at myself. I do not know if I can still forgive myself for all that had happened.

"Nandito ka lang pala." si Neil.

Nasa rooftop ako. Classes are over but I decided to come here and stay for a while.

"Bro, hindi ka pa ba tapos sisihin ang sarili mo?" tanong ni Neil sa akin.

Hindi ako kumibo. Neil knows how badly I am fighting this demon. He knows how much I am blaming myself.

Unlike him, I got no gunshot wound. A physical wound that could heal after several days. My wound is in my heart, in my conscience.

"Jazz. Wala kang kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari. Kung nakikita ka niya ngayon, sigurado akong hindi siya matutuwa. Nangyari na ang mga nangyari. Hindi na natin ito mababago pa. You have to be strong Jazz."

Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako.

"How is your arm? Maayos na ba?" pag-iiba ko ng usapan.

Ngumiti siya ng malapad sabay sabing "My arm is ok. Ilang linggo na lang ay babalik na ko sa gym. Don't worry about me. Malakas yata ito."

"Hindi ka babalik sa gym Neil dahil hindi ka naman nagpupunta doon." sagot ko sa kanya.

Tumawa lang ang mukong. Ilang sandali rin kaming natahimik. We waited for time to pass.

"Tara na! May lakad tayong mga boys." pagyayaya niya sa akin.

"Anong lakad? Hindi ko alam ang tungkol diyan." pagtataka ko.

Sumunod ako sa kanya pababa ng rooftop. As usual, makiki-sakay na naman sa akin ang mukong. He has his own car but he likes riding with me. Ginagawa niya akong driver.

Pagkarating namin sa parking lot ay hiningi niya sa akin ang susi.

"I'll drive. Kaya relax lang, ok?"

Nagmaneho siya palabas ng campus. Ilang sandali lang at nasa daan na kami. I instantly figured out where we are going.

I felt a little bit of hesitation at napansin ito ni Neil.

"Jazz naman. Nandoon na silang lahat. They are waiting for us. By the way, my cash ka ba diyan? Ikaw muna magbayad mamaya ha."

He is trying to lighten the mood. Kahit papaano naman ay gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.