Love Is Not Over {Editing}

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We both slip out of our shoes and I snuggle up on the couch while he looks for snacks.

"What do you want to watch?" he calls from the kitchen.

"Hmm I only ever watch the same 10 movies. Do you want to watch Harry Potter, White Chicks, or 50 First Dates?"

He laughs. "I've never seen 50 First Dates so let's see what that's about."

"Ah! You've never watched it? That's like my second favorite Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore movie."

"Great I can't wait." He replies as he places a plate of baby carrots and bell pepper slices and a tub of hummus on the table.

I press play and we begin watching.

Every couple of minutes I look over at his reaction and make sure he's enjoying the film.

The scene where Adam Sandler's character, Henry, makes Drew Barrymore's character, Lucy, a video informing her of her life, post-accident, comes on.

"Omg!" I exclaim and hug the blanket tighter around myself. "Henry's so sweet. He goes above and beyond for Lucy. Look at all his effort!"

"He's a keeper, a true gentleman," Jimin pauses and then adds "hey can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," I say instantly, without taking my eyes off the screen.

"It's not completely related to the movie though.."

"Go ahead," I reply subconsciously.

"This is totally not my business but... Your boyfriend.. He seems- he seems kinda douchey and like he doesn't ever meet you halfway. For anything. He seems self centered and I can't imagine him putting in even 25% of the effort Henry has exerted for Lucy. Adam gets pissed that you buy crunchy peanut butter because he only eats smooth and here Henry makes Lucy feel comfortable enough to fall in love with him on the daily."

I look over at him wide-eyed and taken aback by his comments.

He averts his eyes and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry for being so blunt but what the hell do you see in that guy?"

I stare at him, completely speechless.

"Well fuck. Wow. Ummmm Adam's- well he's my highschool sweetheart. It's funny because we didn't get along at first. I thought he was a jerk and avoided talking to him. But then our two friend groups merged and we were around each other a lot. He would crack a lot of jokes and I guess his humor got to me and we became friends. Eventually we started dating and now, here we are three years later. Things were easier before I started college...But the past two years have really put our relationship to the test. I've learned so much more about his personality now that we don't see each other every day. He's definitely a worried about me finding some hot TA and losing interest in him. So he tends to lash out because he gets jealous. But aside from that he's a pretty nice guy. He knows how to make me laugh and he has his share of romantic moments. Like he always goes above and beyond on my birthday and holidays. Plus he knows so much about me, like almost all the skeletons in my closet. But.. if I am being completely honest... I'm not sure if I see us together.. in the long term. I have goals and ambitions and he's- he's still trying to figure out his passions. Sometimes I feel like, like we are on parallel roads and one day I'm going to make a sharp left turn and we will lose track of each other."

I exhale realizing that this is the first time I admitted this to someone out loud, let alone admitted it to myself.

We remain in silence for a while before he says anything.