Love Is Not Over {Editing}

Come Back Home

Saturday afternoon rolls around and I find myself sitting on the couch watching Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince. During my spring break, I watched one film during each day off. I was nearing the end of the series and this gave me a small sense of satisfaction, as if I had accomplished something. Most of my days were spent as follows: sleep in, eat breakfast, lounge around, go to the gym or on a run, shower, eat lunch, watch a movie -or three- have dinner, and sleep. It was quite a nice routine.

For the most part I had remained a hermit crab in my apartment, in the comfort of my bed and pajamas. I took the week to mentally and physically recover from finals and prepare for the upcoming quarter.

I stretch lazily on the couch and look at the time.

2:43pm.

Jimin was set to land from his flight at 7pm and I imagined he would get home around 9pm.

Due to the time difference, his busy schedule with interviews, and his time reserved for family and friends, we had not talked much this past week.

We had only snuck in a few text exchanges and short phone calls.

I was completely understanding, despite my heart aching to hear his laugh, see his adorable smile, and feel the warmth of his skin surrounding mine.

I realized that this might very well become a reality for us and it was imperative that I prepare myself for the physical and emotional separation.

I brush the thought away and stare at the credits rolling on the screen.

I hum lightly. What to do now?

This morning I had skipped going to the gym and instead, I lied in bed for an additional hour and a half. It was wonderful.

Initially, I did not feel guilty. However, after a couple of hours of couch potato-ing, I feel the need to stretch and complete some sort of physical activity.

Still only half motivated, I decide on doing a quick home workout. This way I would not drastically disturb my urgent plans of lounging from 3-7pm.

Reluctantly, I stand up from my place in the living room and head into my bedroom.

I grab a sports bra, shorts, and shoes. I quickly change, pull my hair into a high ponytail, and extend my yoga mat on the floor.

After twenty minutes, I am completing the final exercise for my mini workout: squat kickbacks.

I lower my body into a squat position before extending each one of my legs backwards. With every move, I kick the foot of my bed, signaling that I have extended my leg back enough.

My lower body aches but I continue with the motions, determined to reach 100 reps on each side.

I grunt and exhale heavily as I continue.

89.

90.

91.

Just then, my phone begins vibrating on the side table beside my bed.

I'll call whoever that is back later. I am in the zone. I only need nine reps. I am in the zone.

92.

93.

94.

The vibrating stops and immediately starts again. I continue my reps.

95.

96.

97.

My body begins to give in and I yell out, releasing almost inhumane sounds as motivation.

98.

99.

Just one more Jen. You got this!

100.

Yes! I beam, proud of myself.

My small moment of celebration ends abruptly when I hear a loud knock on the front door.

Caught off guard, I jump back.

I take a quick drink of water and throw on an oversized t-shirt before walking through the living room.

There is another knock which quickly turns into banging.

"Jen!" the voice demands.

I recognize it immediately. Jimin.

With a mixture of confusion, eagerness, and fatigue, I pull the door towards my body.

I have not even fully opened it when Jimin barges in.

My features scrunch in confusion. "Well hello to you-"

I stop myself when I note the serious expression on his face.

Without speaking, he glares at me, a coldness in his eyes I have never witnessed before.

My heart sinks.

Although he stands inches away from me, I have never felt so distant from him.