Love Is Not Over {Editing}

N.O.

{A/N: This chapter does include lack of consent and disturbing behavior. Again, these moments are difficult for me and it might be a trigger for some of you. Please take care of yourselves and/ or skip this chapter completely. If you make it through, I send you a giant hug and lots of love! -Jess}

The remainder of the drive home was fairly quiet.

I knew I had to tell Adam about Jimin but I just did not know how to bring it up. And I was not sure whether I should let him talk first or if I should break the news before him.

I could feel the anxiety and tension building up as we got closer to my apartment.

He finds parking, we exit, and walk inside.

As a sort of distraction and also out of convenience, I remember that I was waiting on a package and tell Adam that I am going to check my mail quickly before going up. He waits outside as I open the door adjacent to the elevator and walk into the mailroom.

I stop in front of my slot and hang my head. I take a few shaky breaths, nervous about what would happen once we were indoors.

As much as I am dreading the conversation, I valued Adam's trust and I would confess.

My head is still facing the floor when I hear the door close behind me and turn abruptly to see Jimin walking in, staring at me curiously.

Of course he would be here, at this exact moment, when I was already feeling a dozen emotions and could not think clearly.

Before I can speak, I see Adam appear behind Jimin.

Jimin looks between us, senses the tension, and walks past me to his mailbox.

In a low voice he asks me "Da gwaenchanha?" (Is everything okay?)

I simply shake my head and walk past Adam seething at Jimin.

"What was that? What did he say?" he barks at me once we are inside the elevator.

"He asked if I had gotten my package yet, so I said no."

"Why didn't he just ask in English?"

"I mean Korean is his first language so it's just more natural to him," I respond.

"Do you do that alot with him?"

"What? Speak in Korean? Well sometimes. Like I can manage a basic conversation but I get confused easily so we mostly speak in English and sprinkle in phrases here and there."

He continues staring me down as we walk into Jen's Gem.

We sit on the couch and I turn on the TV and play I Love Lucy.

After a few minutes he yawns loudly and says "I wanna take a nap."

"You can take the bed if you want," I reply without even looking over at him.

"Um you aren't coming?"

"No, if I sleep on a full stomach I just wake up feeling gross."

"Sure," he gets up and walks into the bedroom.

I let out a sigh of relief but my body quickly does not relax knowing we need to talk later.

As the credits for the first episode appear on the screen I hear Adam yell out:

"Babe! Come lay down next to me."

"Adam I can't nap right now. Maybe after my food has digested a bit."

I hear the shuffling of feet and he walks out with a playful frown.

"Jeeeennn, we don't have to nap just come here," he reaches out and pulls me into his chest.

He hugs me and begins walking backwards into the bedroom.

I am completely surprised by his sudden mood shift but I am not complaining.

We lay on the bed and I turn on my side so that I can face him.

I stare at him and shake my head "I don't understand you sometimes."

"Yeah but you can't get enough of me" he says and kisses me.

I bite down on my tongue, not trying to say something that would upset him.

He leans over so that his face is directly above mine and half of his body is on top of my torso. He begins running his finger along my cheek.

Our lips meet again. He deepens the kiss and squeezes my breast.

I reach up to subtly push his hand away but he intertwines our fingers instead.

With his other free hand he reaches down and starts unbuttoning my pants. He reaches down with both hands and I hear him unzipping his jeans too.

I pull away from his lips, "Adam?," I choke out.

He begins kissing my neck, ignoring what I said.

I clear my throat, "Adam wait."

He looks down at me and we lock eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Uhhhh what are you doing?"

"Jen do you love me?"

I stare at him confused for having ignored my question and answering it with another question.

"Well.. yeah but I-"

"Shhhhh.. Then.. let me show you.. That I love.. You too," he says in between kisses.

He shifts his full body weight on top of mine, lifts up my blouse, and begins positioning himself between my thighs.

"No Adam wait" I say, agitated and trying to move out from under him.

"Babe I love you, it just feels right."

"Look I am not enjoying this, please stop."

He continues kissing me while my lips are unresponsive.

I feel him pulling my pants down.

I begin panicking and my breathing quickens.

"Adam-"

My vision blurs from the tears which are threatening to overflow.

The pit in my stomach begins twisting.

My hands are trembling.

It feels as though all my blood has rushed to my head.

No. No no no no no.

There's no way I am sleeping with him. Not like this. I do not want this. Not now or ever.

In that moment, my adrenaline picks up and I elbow him in the ribs.

He flinches back in response and moves off of me and onto his side. This allows me time to get up and escape.

"What the fuck!" I yell as I get off the bed and fix my clothes.

"Jen I love you. I just wanted to show you and prove to you that you are mine. And NO. ONE. ELSE'S." he stresses each word.

"I am not an object Adam. Let's get that clear, okay. You don't own me. I am my own person and if this is about your stupid jealousy then you can keep that in your pants."
He stands up off the bed and slams his fist down on the nightstand.

I flinch back in response.

"I'm so sick of your fucking bullshit! Man fuck this! I can't do this anymore," he yells.