Love Is Not Over {Editing}

Embarrassed

I wake up early the next day for my morning jog. I jump out of bed, eat some granola and pick out my workout clothes. I tie my hair up into a high ponytail and grab my earphones before heading out. I hit shuffle on my music and Jay Park's "Sexy 4Eva" begins playing. I laugh to myself and immediately skip the track. There was a time and place for that song and right now, I needed something upbeat, not sexy as heck, to get me energized for the run. Not to mention, it reminded me of last night and how I lost self control and made out with Jimin. Thinking about that moment made the heat rush to my cheeks and I tried shaking the thoughts away.

I start jogging down the block and turn up the volume, attempting to distract myself but my mind keeps wandering back to the kiss.

I can't believe I acted on a minor curiosity. Sure, I was physically attracted to Jimin. He had the sweetest smile, a nice build, amazing hair, and we got along really well. But I liked to think of our relationship as more platonic.

However, after I shoved my tongue down his throat, I think I complicated our dynamic.

Or maybe I was just overthinking. After all, we both apologized last night and said that it all happened in the heat of the moment and it was a mistake.

But..I would be lying if I said I hadn't enjoyed it. I could not explain the feeling completely but he had kissed me with intense passion. There was both a tenderness and eagerness in his touch and it was a sensation I had not felt with Adam in months, maybe even years.

Adam.. oh my goodness! I just cheated on him. With Jimin.

He's going to hate me and throw all his doubts back at me.

What was I going to say? How? When?!

I groan out loud and run the last few yards back to my building.

As I am a few feet from my door, I hear the opening of another and look up to see Jimin exiting his apartment, grocery totes in hand.

"Uh annyeong." I call out.

"Hi Jen. Just getting back from a run?"

"Yeah I actually had the energy this morning and just went for it. I feel great now."

"Well you look terrible," he teases.

I laugh at his comment and then there's a silence.

"Hey..I just want to apologize again for last night. It was totally uncalled for and I don't want to make things uncomfortable for you or us. Like we are great friends and I don't want things to be awkward or that we stop talking just because I made a stupid mistake."

"Jen, don't worry about it. I get that it meant nothing and we both just slipped up. I only see you as a friend and I can just pretend nothing happened."

Without realizing, my face drops momentarily when I hear his words but I instantly hide it.

"Great, glad we cleared that up" I reply dryly.

He simply nods in response.
"Okay well I need to freshen up so Ima just" I point at the door, rush inside, and practically slam it behind me. I lean my back against the wall and exhale a long sigh.

He seemed calm about it and was more than willing to look past my stupidity. I should be relieved but a part of me was upset that he brushed it off so nonchalantly; almost as if he was repulsed by me.

Wait, I stop myself. Why was I so upset? I mean I am still in a relationship with Adam and it's not like I have feelings for Jimin..right?

Right?!

~~~

After showering and eating a small breakfast, I am still left with a dozen thoughts running through my head. So much so that I completely forget about Adam's arrival until I get a message from him:

Just exited the freeway, be outside in 5.

I grab my keys and wallet and head downstairs. I feel my palms becoming sweaty and I fidget with my keys until I see Adam's car pull up in front of me.

As I open the door he greets me "Hey babe."

"Hi you" I reply and give him a side hug and I quick peck on the cheek, avoiding his lips.

He begins driving towards the waffle place and I inhale deeply.

This is going to be one excruciatingly long day.