Love Is Not Over {Editing}

Dope

Scrolling through my camera roll, I couldn't help but burst with pride.

Jimin looked so incredibly dapper in his suit paired with his cap, gown, and stole.

Earlier when he finished getting dressed, I could not let the opportunity go to waste and I had taken it upon myself to hold a mini photo shoot for him before his graduation. Although he was reluctant because of the sudden attention, even he could not deny that he was a magnificent angel in the shots I captured.

Due to all these emotions and excitement, I launched my self control out of the window.

Just as he was departing for campus, I had other plans.

I slammed the door shut, pushed him up against it, dropped to my knees, and gave him some pre-celebration head.

Having him pull on my hair and hearing his pretty moans was the perfect way to start any Saturday afternoon, in my opinion.

This impromptu display of my affection, along with the fact that he needed to reiron his dress shirt, caused him to arrive twenty minutes late to the scheduled check-in time.

Thankfully, it did not cause any major disruptions.

I arrived at Pauley Pavillion, where the ceremony was held, an hour later.

Once inside, I found a seat in the upper rows and looked around in amazement.

I was not a stranger to Pauley as I had been here for sporting events, gymnastic meets, Spring Sing, and other school functions.

However, today it was bursting with familial joy and pride. I saw clusters of groups eagerly calling out their child's, sibling's, or family member's names.

It was truly a heartwarming experience.

The ceremony commenced and numerous faculty shared their motivational speeches. As Computer Science is not a fairly large department, I do not grow impatient during the name calling.

Before long, I heard "Park Jimin" over the loudspeaker. Without any predetermined intentions, I heard myself yelling out obnoxiously for my Mochi.

He threw his hand back in laughter and shot his hand up in a finger heart in my direction.

After the event ended and the graduates caught their caps, everyone began exiting and searching for their excited families.

Jimin and I had had an important conversation the week before his graduation.

After an extensive amount of debating, I made the difficult decision of not meeting his parents and younger sister.

I struggled understanding my reasoning and explaining it was not any easier. Essentially, it boiled down to the fact that I felt inadequate and self conscious about our major differences. We are both from different ethnic groups, I am not fluent in the language, I come from a lower socioeconomic class, and there are plenty of other cultural factors which skyrocket my anxiety.

I really wanted to overcome my insecurities and have the courage to meet them.

I really hoped I could pull through because I knew how much it would mean to him.

In the end, it escalated to a complete low and I almost had a panic attack when I had the conversation with Jimin.

As he witnessed my physical and emotional pain, he did not guilt trip me or secretly mask his disappointment.

Instead, he consoled and genuinely reassured me that he respected my decision.

For this reason, I maneuvered through the crowds and headed back to the apartment.

Jimin would meet up with his family and have an early dinner. Afterwards, he was going out with his friends for what I imagine would be an incredibly liquor-filled night.

He had invited me to join too, however, I politely declined because I wanted him to enjoy quality time with them and vice versa.

We could have our own, chill celebration once everyone else had their share of time with him.

I stepped aside and let a couple and their two energetic toddlers pass by.

I waved at the little boy who was singing into a star shaped wand. He shot me a cheesy grin and continued serenading his parents.

Just then, two arms snaked around my waist from behind and pulled me back into their chest.

I felt a peck on my right ear that sent tickles down half of my body.

My body tensed but quickly melted into the touch when I heard his voice.

"Hi beautiful" Jimin whispered in a husky tone.

"Ah Jimin! You scared me, don't sneak up on me!"

"Mianhae. I saw you and couldn't keep my hands to myself," he squeezed me even tighter.

I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I mean that also was my mood earlier today sooo..."

He laughed and swooped in for a kiss.

"Congrats grad! I'm so proud of you oppa! You are amazing!"

"Thanks Jen! We'll talk later okay? I gotta go because eomma will put up a missing person's ad if she doesn't find me in the next five minutes."

I nod and he began walking when I noticed one small detail.

"Wait!" I yelled.

He turned and gave me a questioning look.

I reached out and wiped his mouth, removing the red lipstick mark.

"There, now you won't give yourself away," I chuckled.

He gave my hips a playful squeeze and kissed my cheek one more time before heading back into the crowd.