The Self-Harmed

~Nothing lasts forever~

"What did he say?" Ayelie asked.

She was leaning against the wall as I came out of My Therapists office for the first time.

"He said a bunch of how does that make you feel, and then when we where done, he cut my visits to only Thursdays."

"That's good!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, everyone in the suicide wing has to go every day." She grabbed my arm. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah why?"

"You just tipped over. Like you lost your balance or something."

"I'm fine, Really."

"Your not eating are you?" She asked, pulling me to a bench.

I waited until a nurse passed, and then shook my head.

"If I can't control my surroundings, I can at least control what I look like."

"Look, this is the first stage of your body failing you." She took my hands. "Please, Eat at dinner."

I shook my head.

"Please, Lottie." She gripped my hands tighter. "Just eat half of a half of your plate. I can't lose you too."

"What-"

She got up and ran down the hall.

I cut my plate in half as my group sat down.

"Hey." Ava smiled, bumping my shoulder.

"Hey." I smiled back.

I cut the left half in have and took a bite, then looked up at Ayelie.
She nodded, then mouthed Thank you.

I nodded back and took a bite. Once back in my room I did twenty jumping jacks. For every two jumping jacks you lose a calorie. Yes I did look this up, because I was thinking of going on a diet. An envelop slid under the door, and I picked it up. When I saw who it was from I ripped it open and plopped on my bed.

* Hey love!

Your Dad says hi. It's a little lonely without you here. It feels...empty somehow. Let me know how every things going? How's Ryder and Clara? Are you feeling any different? Just say the word and Dad will come and get you.

Promise. Your Dad has a big work project to do. You know the one he really wanted? Well he got it! And know it's hard to get him to eat my roast subs. If He keeps this up, you'll have to share your bed. Just wanted to let you know you have support on this end, when ever you are ready to come home.

If you want to stay, good for you! We still support you. Write me back sometime okay? We got news of our family visit day. Sunday at noon. We love you!

Mon and Dad.*

I smiled wrote her a quick letter, and put it in the mail box.

"There you are Charlie. It's time for your Weight." Maggie said.

"Oh. Um, okay."

"Follow me."

I followed her down the hall and into the nurses room.

"Shoes off, and then hop on."

I took off my shoes and then got on.

"That's strange." She said, hitting the scale.

"What's wrong?"

She turned a page in the folder she held.

"Oh." She looked at me.

"What?"

"Go ahead and put your shoes on Charlie." She shut the folder. "Have a seat in the chair."

Five minutes later a woman came in.

"Hi Charlie." She smiled and sat down.

"Hi."

"I'm Dr. Morren. How are you eatting?"

"Fine."

"I'm the therapist for the eating disorder wing. Your eating isn't fine Honey." She took my hand. "You've lost seven pounds since you've been here."

"I have?" My eye's widened.

"Yes."

"I'm just stressed out."

"Okay." She smiled. "I'm going to have you come see me on Tuesdays, and set up your weight check for every Monday. How are you sleeping?"

"Sleep?" I snorted.

"Okay, well we'll get you back on one sleeping pill per night okay?"

I nodded.

"Okay." She gave me a pill." Take it here."

She handed me a little cup of water and I took the pill.

"This will help me sleep, right?" I asked, handing her the cup and wiping my mouth.

"Yes."

"Thanks."

"Head on to bed Sweetie" She touched my cheek.

On the way too my room I ran into Ryder who grabbed my arm.

"Ow." I pulled away.

"Sorry." He muttered. "I just wanted to know how you were."

"Dropped seven pounds. Happy?"

"No." He grabbed my wrist. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy."

"We used to talk."

"Nothing lasts forever." I took my wrist back. "Gotta go, my sleeping pill is kicking in."