The Self-Harmed

~Into the darkness~

Finally, I thought as I stepped out of the car. Fresh air! None of the at bleach and chemical stuff. together Dad and I gathered my bags from the trunk and then headed inside. From the sounds of it, Mom was in the kitchen and so that's where I headed first.

"Charlie!" Mom dropped the pan she had just grabbed from the cupboard.

I ran to her and we hugged. She kissed my head a couple of times and gave me a tighter hug. Before I head left these types of hugs and shows of affection made me angry. I wonder what had happened to the girl?

"I'm so glad your back." She smoothed my hair, "Look at all this hair!"

I laughed, "Vitamins. That and no one telling me to trim my hair."

Mom grabbed a strand of my hair, Just a small one wouldn't hurt anything.

"Should I take this up stairs?" Dad asked.

"I'll do it." I said, taking my suitcase, "I missed my room."

I left the kitchen and went up stairs. I took a deep breath in the hall and opened the door. My room was the same way as it was before.  I didn't know if I found it comforting or scary. Because under the surface of this little room I know what was lying in wait. In secret. I set my suitcase on the bed, and went to the window. I lifted the seat but it didn't move. It was always a little hard to open it, but now it was hard. I got on my knees and pushed it up.

It didn't move. Did I lose all my muscle when I was gone? I did it one last time and it opened. I picked up one of the plastic boxes and popped off the top. I looked at a bunch of papers all sizes. I picked one off the top, and turned it over.

*One cut, two cut, three cut, more, you'll never understand but you do it more. Cover it up with long sleeves, Cover it up with guilty pleas. You promise to stop, but never come through, my oh my, what has happened to you?*

I put it back int the box and picked up another paper.

*Silly little girl, don't fool yourself, they've seen your scars just don't want to help. Little do they know how much could change with three little words, "Are you okay?"*

I picked up another one,

*Hush little baby don't you cry don't you cut your arms don't you say goodbye, put down your razor put down that knife it may be hard but you'll win this fight!*

There was a knock on the door and I dropped the box. The door opened and Mom rushed in.

"I'm fine. I dropped a box." I smiled holding a hand out at the box for proof.

"Alright." She smiled. "Your door is unlocked. You okay?"

"I don't have a lock on my door at school so I guess I just forgot to lock it." I looked down at the box, and the spilled papers.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to help with dinner. I know you don't really like cooking-"

"I'll help you."

"Really?"

"Yep. How about I cook dinner tonight?"

"Alright, Is there anything you need from the store? I can go and pick it up really quick. Your Dad has to go to the work-out store next door anyways."

"I'll go."

"You will?"

"Yep. Just let me clean this up, change, write a list and I'll be down stairs."

"Alright then."

I bent down to pick up the papers.

"You said you'd tell me what happened to make you come home?"