The Self-Harmed

~Peace~

"Hey sister."

"Cyrus!" I grabbed him in a hug.

"I heard." He tightened his grip on me. "I'm sorry."

"Do you want to see?"

"Yes." We joined hands and I led him to the garden.

It was after lunch when he showed up.

"That's it?"

"That's it." I nodded. "But I'm doing to Year book so There's a lot of pictures in there."

"How you doing?"

"Well I never really had a friend die, and stay that way. So I don't know how to react. I keep thinking a couple of months they'll come back because that's what Owen did. But." I lifted a shoulder, and tossed up a hand.

"Yeah. I know." He put an arm around my shoulders.

"I have to get better Cyrus."

"Well it just doesn't happen all at once." He scuffed the grass. "It takes a while."

"I have to try."

"Well I'll support you."

"Good. I need all the support I can get."

"Everyone does."

I said goodbye to Cyrus and then went to my last class. The classes I had with Ava or Daniel or Alen seemed empty. Without a purpose.

"So If you'll all take one and pass the box down." Mr. Pepper said, setting a box on the front table. I looked up to see people grabbing yearbooks.

"Why did you take four?" Ryder whispered.

"You'll see."

During dinner I told everyone to sign it for them. Then I went outside and set a year book by each stone. I grabbed my lighter and lit the candles. I pulled a cigarette out of my pocket and lit up.

"Rest in peace guys. You deserve it." I gave each stone a touch and then left to the tree.

I pulled a picture out of my pocket and unfolded it. It was of Ava, Ayelie and I smoking under the tree. I pinned it inside of the hole, and set the lighter back. I sat at the base of the tree and finished my smoke. So this was it. Three of us were gone. And the rest of us were trying to get better. I tossed my smoke and walked inside.

"It's time for your weight." A nurse said.

I sighed and followed her.

"Hop on." I took off my shoes and got on.

"Same weight." She wrote something down, and then left.

I pulled on my shoes, and left the room.

"Good job Charlie." A nurse said.

"Just don't want to end up a stone in a garden." I tossed up my hands, and she gave me a strange look like she was afraid of me.

I smiled, and walked down the hall.

"So?" Owen walked over to me.

"Same weight."

"Good." He nodded, kissed my head and then left.

I watched, my eyes narrowed, and he left.

"Hey." I turned around and Ryder grabbed my face. "I love you." He kissed me.

"I love you too."

He kissed me again.

"You know." He took my hand. "I think that they would be proud of you."

"I hope so."

"They are."

"How do you know?"

He gave me a funny look.

"How do you know?"

"Because they told me."

"They told you?" I asked. "You can see them?"

He nodded, "Ava said to stop feeling so damn guilty already. It's making her depressed and she's supposed to be dead."

I laughed, "That's Ava for you."

"She loves you Charlie."

"I love you too." I muttered. "Wait did you see Alen?"

He nodded, "Him and Daniel found peace yesterday."

"Why not Ava?"

"She had to say goodbye to you." He looked down.

"You okay?" I grabbed his hand.

He nodded, his face wet when he looked at me. "She just found peace."

I nodded, and brought him in for a hug. She deserved it. They all did.