The Self-Harmed

~What happened to you?~

When I woke up I was in my room. I sat up and looked around. I gasped, tossed off the covers, and ran to the chair in the corner of my room. Cyrus stood up and grabbed me into a hug.

"They took him."

"Who?" He held me at arm's length and grabbed my chin.

"Ryder! They took him."

"Shit." He pulled me into a hug. "When?"

"Friday." I dug my fingers into his jacket, "They took him before lunch. And Clara can't have a family."

"It's okay, Ryder will be okay."

"No one knows that for sure. It's bad this time. I never even knew. I want to go home Cyrus."

"I know." He rubbed my back. "It's okay."

Being numb for the past two days really made me break down. I pulled back and wiped my eyes.

"I dropped more weight and they said that I'm going to need a watcher. And I haven't gotten any calls from my parents."

"You just have to stay strong."

"I don't know how." I sat on my bed. "I thought I did, but I don't."

He sat down with me.

I looked at him, and shrugged a shoulder, "I don't want to live anymore."

"That's Crazy talk woman."

I screamed and jumped from my bed.

"Ryder!"

I ran into him, and he stumbled back, and Cyrus hurried to grab his arm.

"What's wrong Charlie?" Ryder rested his chin on my head.

"They said you weren't going to make it." I then pulled back and looked at him accusingly. "You promised you'd never leave me!"

"And I didn't."

"You almost did!" I objected. "You could of left me. And not just me. You could of left Clara, and Ayelie. And Alex! What about your family?"

"Charlie."

"You have a lot of people who care about you."

"Charlie."

"There's a lot of people who love you Ryder-"

"Charlie." He grabbed my face. "I love you more."

I opened my mouth but no words came out.

"It's okay now." His face was stern. "I'm okay. We're okay."

"Okay." I nodded.

"I promise I won't leave you."

"I promise I'll Always love you."

"I'll love you too." He pulled me into a hug. "I promise."

"Ahem." Cyrus said, after a couple of seconds.

"Oh right." We pulled apart.

"Cyrus this is Ryder. Ryder, this is my big brother."

They shook hands.

"Good to see that you're okay."

"Thanks."

"Anyways." Cyrus hugged me. "I have to get to work. Bye Ryder."

They shook hands and then He left.

"Charlie, I have to sit down."

I hurried him to my bed, and he lay down. I shut my door and then leaned against it.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"What did they say?"

"They always say I'm going to die to scare me." He grabbed the blanket. "Now can you come here?"

I stretched out beside him, and he tossed the blanket over me. He kissed my head.

"I thought I was going to lose you."

"You won't."

"But what if you get worse?"

"I won't." He said. "They're putting me on lock down. I have to eat with a watcher."

We both fell asleep and then headed to dinner.

"Ryder!" Clara screamed.

"What?" Ayelie stood up from her chair and hit the table.

"Dude!" Alex got up and hurried over.

Owen smiled, and looked at his tray. 'Lucky bastard,' He mouthed.

"You're okay." Clara smiled.

"You're okay." He touched her arm.

"Whoa." Ayelie grinned. "What is this I see?" She waved a finger between our hands.

We both looked down at our laced fingers. When did that happen? Who did that? Why did it feel...nice?

"Are you dating?" Clara all but yelled, grabbing my arm.

"Come on guys." Alex grabbed their arms and pulled them to the table.

I followed Ryder to the food bar.

"Ryder, I'm Ana. Your watcher." She shook his hand, and then smiled at me. "Hi."

"Hi." I muttered grabbing Ryder's upper arm with my free hand.

"Now nothing is going to be different you guys can still talk, I'm just here to make sure Ryder eats."

But we didn't talk. What if she reported back to our group or one on one. That was just something that we couldn't risk. And as I looked around my table everyone agreed. So we couldn't even give Ryder a proper welcom eback. Because they were watching. I looked up at a camera in the corner of the wall. They were always watching.