The Self-Harmed

~Every thing is gonna be cool~

"I had weight today." Daniel said at lunch.

"Me too." Alen nodded. "I lost a pound."

"I had weight yesterday." I said, without thinking.

"You lose or gain?" Ava asked.

Everyone looked at me, and waited.

"I lost." I looked down, and moved my food to all one side of my plate, cause I was done eating my small half. "I lost seven pounds since I've been here."

"God damn girl eat!" Daniel said, making a few tables look at us.

"Daniel." Alex shook his head.

"Oh." Daniel looked down. "Sorry Charlie. I really didn't mean it like that. If I hurt your feelings or damaged yourself esteem in anyway, I'm really sorry."

"I forgive you Daniel." I nodded.

He dug his fork into his food and took a bite, "Sometimes I just talk without thinking."

"My Mom calls it not having a filter." I said.

He laughed a little. The bell rang and I went to history with Alen.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." He said, tossing a ball of paper into a trash can.

It hit the brim and then fell in.

"Something happened to me, and Ayelie was there."

He sighed, "You lost your balance in front of her and she freaked."

I nodded, "Why?"

"Her sister had a really bad eating disorder." He paused holding up his arm to protect me from the passing nurses with a cart. "She was supposed to be here, but the night before she was supposed to be here, she died, from not eating. She didn't kill herself, she thought it was a cowards escape, and her parents didn't tell her she was coming here. Three months later Ayelie showed up with a type of schizophrenia that is brought on by a Traumatic happening."

We took our seats at the back of the class, as the teacher hit his desk a couple of times to get everyone's attention. All I could think about was poor Ayelie, and How I had to start taking note of what upset her, and hide it from her. I had to take a note from Clara and spit the food into a cup after I took the bite.

After my last class I made my way to Dr. Morren's office. I sat down in the over stuffed chair as She sat down in her office chair.

"So, how are you?"

"Fine."

She nodded, "What did you eat for lunch?"

"The main dish they served."

Again she nodded, "And how much did you eat?"

"Enough to get me full."

She sat back in her chair, and looked me over.

"What?" I asked.

"I want you to have dinner with me."

"Excuse me?"

"I want you to get your dinner and bring it to my office. We'll eat together."

"I usually eat with my friends."

"Some of your friends have come to me worrying about your eating habits."

"Who?" I demanded. "Ayelie?"

"I promised I would keep all of their names quite."

"All?" I asked. "It was Clara, Ryder, and Ayelie wasn't it?"

She just looked at me.

"Wasn't it?" I hit the desk.

"Take a breather Charlie."

"Who came to you?" I stood up.

"Have a seat, Charlie."

I opened the office door hard enough to make it hit the wall, and headed to the lounge. Ayelie and Ava sat on one side of the couch and Ryder and Clara sat on the other side of the couch.

"Who did it?" I demanded.

"What?" Ayelie looked over at Ryder and Clara.

"Who talked to that fucking Doctor about me?" I demanded.

"Calm down Charlie, you're going to want to trust me on this one." Ryder slowly got up.

"I want to know who fucking told her and I want to know right the fuck now!"

"It was me!" Ava Blurted.

"Why would you do that?"

"I had my reasons."

I walked over to her, but a male nurse grabbed me and pinned my arms behind my back.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I kicked, making another one grab my legs.

I moved around trying to get free. They took me to the ground and My shirt was yanked up.

"What the fuck!" I yelled, and then my body went slack.

I just lay there letting them put me in a straight jacket of all things. One of the male nurses picked me up bridal style and left the lounge, with a couple of Nurses trying to calm everyone down.

The took me too a cell room and lay me on a bed. They took off the straight jacket and strapped my wrists and ankles to the bed.

"Wait for the sedative to wear off and then see if She has calmed down." Dr. Morren said.

A sheet was placed over me, and then everyone left the cell, the heavy metal padded door banging shut. I closed my eyes and thought of a happy place. My fourteenth birthday. I snuck out with Owen and met him at the tree. For my birthday, I wanted to spend the night in the tree. We didn't count on the weather being so cold, and Owen held me the whole night to keep me warm. I soon drifted off to sleep, and woke when the door opened.

"How do you feel?" Dr. Morren asked.

"Fuck you." I muttered.

Flipping her off was a little hard because my wrist was still strapped to the bed.

"Still a little mad I see. Do you need another shot?"

"I need you to kill yourself so I can fucking get on with my life!" I spat at her. "Oh my god I'm sorry." I shook my head mouth open. "I didn't mean it, it just came out."

She sat on my bed, "I'm going to ask you something, Charlie. I need you to be honest with me. Do you ever feel like someones trying to get you? Like hurt you?"

"Sometimes." I looked out the bar covered window.

"I'm going to call a meeting with your parents. If your calm now, I'd like you to come to my office, so you can take a written test. Can you do that?"

I nodded.

"James." She said, getting up.

A male nurse unstrapped me from the bed and I followed Dr. Morren down the hall. She set me up with the test and left the room.