The Self-Harmed

~Reason for insane~

It was now February first. It was starting to get warmer, but you still had to wear a jacket in the garden which was were I currently was. Sitting in front of the stones. Ryder was at my left and Alex was at my right. It was hard to have a decent conversation now with so many nurses around, waiting for you to say the wrong thing. They had retaken off my red bracelet again. They never took off my blue bracelet however.

"Do you think they can hear us?" Alex whispered.

"I wouldn't doubt it." Ryder muttered back.

"It's not fair that we have to be watched so much." I muttered.

"That's what we get for being sick." Ryder whispered.

"How are we supposed to get better when we feel alone?" I demanded. "Like we have no one to talk to."

"I guess that's what group is for." Alex answered.

"Even group is more quieter. Barely anyone is expressing their feelings." Ryder whispered.

"Because They're all afraid." I muttered, ripping at the grass.

"Careful," Alex touched my hand, "You don't want them coming over here thinking you're going to have an episode."

I sighed and let the grass I had in my hand slowly fall out.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm not going to be able to get better in this hostile environment. Sure there wasn't so much nurses lurking around back then but at least it felt like a home. Like we belonged here." Ryder said. "It feels like we're intruding now. This used to be a place where it was safe to talk to your friends about your problems. Now you say the wrong thing and you get a bracelet strapped into place."

"I feel the same." Alex nodded. "It doesn't feel like I have support here. It feels like all the staff members have something better to do."

"Exactly." I mumbled.

"And the worst part is we can't do anything about it because we don't know who to talk to. They'd probably Strap us all into a padded cell if we told them we didn't feel safe." Ryder muttered.

"If they want us to get better you would think that they would actually act like they cared." Alex whispered.

"What are you guys doing?" Clara asked squeezing between Alex and I.

"We're talking about all the new nurses." Alex answered.

"I know right?" She asked. "It feels like we're in prison. One wrong turn and they'll start strapping on shocking bracelets."

"Can they do that?" I asked.

"I don't know." Clara whispered. "But I wouldn't put it past them."

"Me either." Ryder spoke up.

"This school is making me feel scared to get better." I muttered.

"Mr. Pepper." Alex jumped up. "We can trust him."

He held out his hands and I grabbed them so he could pull me up.

"Come on."

Clara and Ryder each grabbed one of his hands, and jumped up. We quickly hurried to Mr. Pepper and voiced our opinions.

"And we have no idea of what to do about it." Alex finished.

Mr. Pepper stayed quite for a second, then ran a hand over his face. "I agree with you all completely. Other students have come to me complaining also."

"So what do we do?" Clara asked.

"What can we do?" I asked.

"I'm working on it." Mr. Pepper sighed. "But I have no idea on how to go about it. The board spoke. It was rather we did this or we had to get shut down."

"So they'd rather have us afraid of getting better, then feeling like there's hope?" Ryder questioned.

"I don't know Ryder." Mr. Pepper shook his head. "I'm trying to work through it I am, but there's only so much one person can do."

"Our parents." I said.

"What about them?" Clara asked. "They put us in here."

"Maybe if we talk to them-"

"And then they take us out?" Alex cut off Ryder. "There's nothing we can do. We're just kids. Kids who are sick. They think we're all crazy. We don't need to give them reason to see us insane."

"Well then what about the other kids that feel the same?" I questioned. "What if we put up a strike? I'm not going to just roll over and play dead. I'm here for one thing and one thing only, and that's to get better. Every time I see one of these stupid bracelets it just reminds me of how sick I really am, and when other people look at them it makes me feel bad about myself. And our friends are the ones who have helped us the most and all of the sudden we can't talk to them without getting another bracelet slapped into place. This is bull shit!"

They were all quite after I finished I knew they all believed me and were on my side but they didn't say anything.

"When is the strike?" Caden asked from the door, with a smile.