The Self-Harmed

~Perhaps if I got better~

Mr. Pepper's class was us next. I was excited to see him. I had never had one of those teachers who made a big impact on my life.

"Hello Charlie." He smiled at me.

"Hi." I smiled back and held out my wrist.

"Oh Right." He took my hand and stuck it under the scanner which beeped.

My picture popped up on the screen.

"Don't you think these bracelets are a little much?" I questioned.

He looked out the door, and then leaned in.

"Of course I do." He muttered, "It's taking away freedom. It's making things too public."

"I guess that's what it takes to get better."

"Have a seat," He gave me a sad smile.

I nodded and went to my seat. Ryder sat down next to me, and I grabbed his hand.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

He kissed my forehead, and a big group of students hurried into the class room. They created a line in front of Mr. Pepper's desk. One by one he scanned their bracelet and then nodded at them to sit down. 

"I like Mr. Pepper." Ryder said. "He never really changes."

I watched as he quickly scanned kids and sent them on their way. The more students the faster he went. I wonder if he got extra training to scan those bracelets so fast.

"He believes in happy endings."

"And you don't?"

I smiled at him, "No. I don't."

"How are you going to get better if you have no hope?"

"You're my hope." I told him. "If you and Caden get better, that's all that matters to me. If I lost either of you, I would need six blue bands."

He looked down at his bag.

I saw a flash of blue on his wrist, "Ryder-"

"Apparently you never really get better from suicide thoughts."

"So they gave you back your blue band?"

"I only made a comment, and then they strapped it on."

"What was the comment?"

He looked down.

"Ryder?"

"They brought up your suicide attempt, so I said you were smart to do it."

"Why would you say that?"

"It slipped out."

"You're too young to hate the world so much."

"So are you." He met my gaze.

"Guess we're both older than our age."

"I guess."

I looked back down he and Kissed the back of my hand.