The Self-Harmed

~Don't give up yet~

It was Wednesday. Clara had lost two pounds, Owen got his hands on a lighter, Alex needed a sedative, and Ayelie had made her first cut in two years. I was headed to the office right now because I got word my Mom was in the office. But When I walked into the office Mom and Dad sat there arms crossed. When they saw me they both stood up.

"What's going on?" Dad demanded.

"I told you not to come." Mom hissed at him looking around to see if anyone was looking.

"Sit down Charlie." Dad said.

I sat down. What was this supposed to be about? Did Mom know about the blond?

"They called and said they had to give you a sedative." Mom said.

"I freaked out."

"Why?"

"I freaked out on Owen."

"Why?" Mom asked.

I sighed, "I wasn't eating, and He was trying to get me to eat. My friend Ryder was taken to the hospital because he had to get a feeding tube. So over the weekend I stayed in my room. On Monday they stuck me in a wheel chair and took me to the dining hall. Owen asked me if I wanted to end up like Ryder, so I splashed my drink on him, told him to fuck off, and then got up. I saw dots from the sudden lack of food. A nurse tried to grab me to help me stay standing and I flipped out on her, so I was sedated."

"I don't like the fact that every time something happens here, you get worse." Mom said. "I'm going to take you out of here."

"Do you really think that's the best thing for her right now?" Dad asked.

"Like ruining our family is?" She demanded.

"Wait you know?" I asked.

"What?" She looked at me.

"You didn't tell her I knew." I looked at Dad.

"No." He looked down.

Mom got up and left the school.

"I'll talk to her." Dad took my hand. "But you need to know we're getting a divorce."

"You can't fix it?"

"Not this time sweet heart." He touched my face. "Not this time."
He left the school, and I just sat in the office chair. A divorce. Damn.

"You need a pass to class Hun?" The woman who was on duty at the front desk asked.

"Uh yeah."

I took the pass, crossed my arms and headed to class. I sat down, and could feel Owen's eyes on me. I could feel Ryder's eyes on me on my other side. One Boy I loved. One boy who I was in love with. But did I really know what love was?

"Mr. Pepper?" I raised my hand, and he looked over.
"Can I use the bathroom?"

"Sure. Don't take the pass class is almost over."

"Thanks."

I grabbed my bag and left the room. I walked over to mine and Ayelie's tree. I reached into the hole and grabbed the box of cigarettes. I pulled one out lit it and sat down. The door opened and closed and Ryder came into view. He bent down in front of me as I inhaled smoke. I held out the smoke, and he took it from me.

He sat down and took a hit. The door opened and closed and then Owen sat down next to me. He stuck a smoke in his mouth and patted his jacket. I held up my lighter and he took it. He lit the cigarette, took a hit and gave it to me. I inhaled as he lit another one.

"My parents are getting a divorce."

That was the only thing that was said while we finished smoking. We headed to the dining hall, ate with Ana and then headed to the last class of the day.

"You okay?" Alex grabbed my arm as I passed him in the hall.

I nodded, "Yeah I'm okay."

"Here." He handed over a bottle of cologne. "You smell like cigarettes again. How many did you smoke today?"

"Four." I sprayed myself down.

"You shouldn't smoke."

"It's the least of my worries." I handed over the bottle.

He grinned, raised the bottle in salute, and then headed down the hall to class. I went outside to the garden. Ryder was sitting under the tree with a cigarette in his hand. I sat down next to him and he handed it over.

"My Mom's trying to take me out." I handed it over.

He took a long hit.

"My Dad told her not to though."

He nodded.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm alive."

He handed me the smoke.

"You okay?"

"I'm just tired." I took a hit.

"Of what?"

"Life."

"Don't give up yet." He took the smoke back, and took a hit.