The Self-Harmed

~It's too hard~

"So I was thinking-" Owen stopped in his tracks as he pushed open my door. He slowly shut my door, "What are you doing?"

I had my shirt up and I was poking at my rib.

"Nothing." I yanked my shirt down, "What were you thinking?"

"I'll tell you when you tell me what you were doing."

"Well," I sighed, "The best ideas are surprises."

"What were you doing Charlie?" He grabbed my arm.

"It's too hard okay?" I looked away from him.

"What is?" He grabbed my face and made me look at him.

"Trying to be normal."

He actually laughed, "We're never going to be normal again Charlie. Whoever told you that has lied. We'll always be damaged. We can only try to get better."

"Well it's too hard to get better."

"It's not going to happen overnight, Char." He grabbed both of my arms as I looked him in the eyes. "You didn't lose all that weight in one day, you didn't get all these scars in one night. Did you?"

"No."

"Exactly."

"It's just easier to be like this." I shook my head a little. "To be sick."

"Of course it is." He snorted. "They don't call recovery a fight for nothing."

"Well I don't want to fight."

"Of course you don't." He took a step closer to me, "But you have to. You have to fight, no matter if you feel like it or not. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to make you. I'm going to drag you across the line to recovery if I have to."

"I'm pretty heavy."

"No you're not." He picked me up by the arms and then set me down. "Why do you always joke about this?"

"I have to. I'd go insane if I didn't."

"Don't you see?" He asked, looking over my face, "We're already there."

The door Opened and we jumped away from each other, as Clara and Ryder paused at the door.