The Self-Harmed

~Someone like me~

It was eight o'clock, and the school had put stones in the school's garden. Alen Jake Nicks- Daniel Victor Nickolson- Ava Angel Blaire. Angels who will always watch over the school, and their students. But only a few of us would know their real story. Their lives. The things that each of them stood for and protected. It didn't matter how they died.

They were too young to be taken. They had set little glass candles around the stones with the names. They would be lit every night to remember the three. Bur when this class graduated or got to go home, the next group of kids wouldn't know them, A heavy jacket was placed on my shoulders followed by hands.

"You okay?"

"Why did they have to die?" I asked. "Why couldn't someone else die? Someone who was a bad person, who kept secrets from the ones they loved. Someone like me."

"Hey." Ryder spun me to face him. "Don't think that way."

"They didn't deserve to die Ryder." I hissed, looking at the stones and tossing a hand. "They were good people. They had their whole lives a head of them. Families, jobs. The whole nine yards. What are we supposed to do? Just fucking move on?"

His face was stone, "We're supposed to get better Charlie." He looked at the stones. "So we don't end up like them. Good people with just a stupid fucking stone to remember them by."

"Hey," I reached for his arm.

But he pulled his arm away, and walked down the path way disappearing behind the wall.

"Ryder?" I called. "Ryder!" I ran after him pulling on his jacket sleeves.

I ran down the hall after him.

"Don't do this!"

"Don't do what?" He continued down the hall.

"Don't you shut me out."

"Don't shut you out?" He spun around and looked down at me. "Alen was my little half brother! And Daniel was my cousin! Ava was a family friend Charlie!"

"What?" I took a couple of steps back.

"Yeah," He laughed once. "You didn't see that little twist in the story did you?"

"Ryder, please!" I yelled after him. "Ryder! You're not going to do this."

"Do what?" He asked me when I grabbed his arm.

"You're not going to give up." I glared at him. "Your going to remember what good people they were."

"I can't." He shook his head.

"Your going to remember that their love was pure."

"Stop." He crushed my hand in his.

"You're going to remember each of them, and you're going to be strong for them. You won't give up for Alen. You're not going to stop for Daniel, you won't give in For Ava."

" I won't stop for Daniel." He gasped. "I won't give in for Ava." He gripped my hand tighter. " I won't give up for Alen." A tear slid down his cheek.

I nodded a sob escaping, "You won't stop fighting for you."

He looked at me, and grabbed my face, "I won't stop fighting for you Charlie. Because I love you."

"Come here." I hugged him. "I love you."

We stayed in each others  arms until I couldn't feel the tips of my fingers. I turned my face towards his neck, causing m=him to lean back with a smile, "Your lips are blue."

I reached up touching them and then my nose.

"Here." He took a step closer to me so we were touching. "Body heat."

I gave him a small smile, "What about my lips?"

"Don't you know that I have an idea for everything by now?"

Both of us smiled leaning in for a kiss.

"But seriously it's freezing." Ryder laughed and I did too. "Want to go somewhere?"

"Where?"

"Come on." He took my hand, and smiled, "Come on."

So in the cover of the darkness we hurried across the lawn through a bush wall. There was a little tiny cabin. Ryder smiled to me encouragingly and tugged on my hand. I smiled and walked through the bush walking up towards the little cabin. 

It was a big enough for a bed, a small kitchen and bathroom, and a tiny fire place with bricks missing. The air was cold and a little stale. Ryder went into the kitchen grabbing a little heater from the cupboard. He plugged it in and aimed it towards the bed. As he messed with the little dials I sat down on the bed and took off my shoes.

"What is this place?"

"This." He said lighting a little oil lamp "Is were they stick the bad kids."

"You're kidding." I paused with a smile.

"Oh yeah." He laughed and I rolled my eyes. He set the oil lamp on the night stand and went to turn the bed down. "It's were they keep the staff members who have put in their two weeks."

"Or boys who need an escape." I added helping him with the bed.

"Sure." He shrugged taking off his jacket and I followed suit, "But for tonight it's ours."

I watched him lay on the bed and pull the blankets around him. Then he smiled and patted the spot next to him.

"Well what about checks?"

"I don't care if you don't care." He rubbed the open space seductively.

I smiled and climbed in. I snuggled into him and he pulled the blankets over me.

"So," I drummed my finger tips on his chest, "I guess this means we're an Item now huh?"

"An Item huh?" 

I laughed as he blew raspberries on my neck. But then he stopped and gave my neck a single kiss. When he pulled back he was leaning slightly over me. His eyes looked over my face. When I took in a breath to speak he leaned down and kissed me. His kisses went from my mouth, neck, jaw, cheeks, and nose until I couldn't breathe anymore.

Then he smiled and stopped looking down at me. "Warm enough?"

I put a hand to my cheek, "A little too warm."

"I can help with that you know."

"Look at you." I smiled stroking his face, "A first class problem solver."

"Only for you." He gave me a kiss, "Sit up."

I pushed myself up against the pillows. He sat up on his knees and Took off his shirt. He tossed it to the side and lay down on my legs. I tried to keep my breathing even as he undid my buttons. When he got the last one he glanced up at me for permission. I nodded slightly and he reached up pushing my sleeves back. I sat up taking off the sleeves and he kissed my shoulder, and then pushed up back on the pillows. 

His kisses went along my bra line and down to my stomach. When he got low enough to be satisfied he took in a deep breath blowing on my stomach. I sat up quickly but his smile slowly faded as I leaned in to kiss him. We started taking off all the clothes we could reach in this position. Like the world was about to shut off it's light and say goodbye. And we were fire lighting the way.