The Self-Harmed

~Letters~

Storming into my room, I gathered everything into my junk food box and headed down the hall towards one of the many trash cans.

"Throwing all of your junk food away?" Ryder asked, as I tossed the food into a trash can.

"What's it to you?"

"I'm worried about you is all." He shrugged. "An eating disorder is a big deal."

"And yet you still do it." I shook my head a little, him making no sense. "Just deal with your problems and I'll deal with mine."

"See you Mr. Pepper's class!" He called after me.

I shook my head and went to my room. There was another box on the floor with my name on it. It was from my parents. I sighed annoyed and then picked it up. I set it on the bed, and the paced the length of my bed.

"Just open it." I began to rip at the tape, "The worst thing that could happen is that I made another run to the trash bins.

I opened the box and gasped. I could of died and went to heaven as I pulled my old iPod out like it was gold. I turned it on, scrolled to the P's and found the song I wanted.

'If I find the ones Who've hurt you I hope god turns away.'

I smiled and shoved it into my pocket. There was a letter from my Mom, and some paper and pens so I could wright her back. I grabbed the note book and a pen and sat on my bed. I turned to a clean page and did something I couldn't do ever since I got here.

*Owen,

A lot has changed since I last wrote to you. Mom and Dad found out I cut so they sent me to this school, where they deal with troubled kids. Stupid right? I've met a girl, yes a girl! Her names Clara, we're not on good terms right now of course but somethings never change right? She has an eating disorder, and everyone is saying I have the starting signs and they all want to help me, but I just want to be left alone. Is that bad?

Remember when you would always ask me if I ever wanted you to beat someone up for me? Now I do, His name is Ryder, and he's just plain annoying. First he wants me to admit to myself I have an eating disorder, then he doesn't want me to embrace it. So I'm doing a little test. I'm going to throw away all my junk food and just eat the same. If I drop weight then I will have an eating disorder. But until then I remain unconvinced!

The school is more crazy than I. The teachers are all happy like they're taking the meds. Ha! I'm telling you Owen, the fun we could have in this place together. If only people could talk to ghosts right? Oh well, I guess I'm on my own now. No you, no Clara, or my parents.

I won't give in too soon though. For you. I miss you Owen, and I wish you would get to read this. I still pretend you got shipped off to boarding school, by the way.

-Charlie*

I snapped the book closed as Clara came in.

"I know your upset at me." I put my note book in my trunk, as she sat down on the edge of her bed, "But I can't help you hurt yourself Charlie, I just can't."

"It's fine." I sat on my bed. "Like I told Ryder, worry about your problems and I'll deal with mine."

"Don't you need a friend?"

"Nope." I shoved in my ear buds grabbed my camera and left the room.

"Are you locking up?" I asked Mr. Pepper, as I came up on his class.

"I am."

"Dang. Tomorrow then."

"I can trust you with the key." He held it out to me.

"Okay." I took it.

"If any of the other kids in the class want to work here, you can let them in too."

"Thanks Mr. Pepper."

"No problem Charlie."

I let myself in and set my backpack down. I developed all my pictures and grabbed the folder I'd need to do my collage. I looked up at a knock on the door to See Ryder. I rolled my eyes and let him in.

"Mr. Pepper said you'd be here."

"If your not going to work you have to leave. You have to work to be in here."

"I just need to talk to you."

"I don't have time. I have to work." I put in my ear bud, and looked up to see him leaving.

By the time I was done it was time for dinner. I dropped my things off at my room, gave Mr. Pepper the key back and headed to the dinning hall. I grabbed a tray and walked to my table. Clara waved, and then I remembered I was mad at her. I walked by her table and got an empty table by the window. I wasn't hungry so I took my time with sculpting my food to one side of the plate.

"Done hun?" A nurse asked holding a waiters tray.

"Yes. Thank you." I smiled.

"You made a good dent in your plate."

"Usually do."

"That's a good thing."

She patted my shoulder and left. I put my camera strap around my neck and went to my room. I quickly got re

"Charlie-"

"Good night, Clara." I turned off my lamp.