𝟷𝟿𝟽𝟺 ~ 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚢 𝙿𝚊𝚐𝚎

twenty-three

Sun; blinding and harsh. Jimmy's first thoughts whilst waking up. The sun creeped through the velvet curtains and shone in his face and casted an ambient glow in the room. He breathed a sigh, trying to shake the tiredness from his body. He closed his eyes and forced himself to roll over. Eyes still closed, he reaches out for Angela, desperate to feel her soft skin from under his calloused palms. Only unlike every other morning, he only feels the cool bedsheet beneath him.

Jimmy's eyes open quickly at this feel of nothingness. Angela was not in the bed, he couldn't hear the shower going, maybe she went down for breakfast? Jimmy though that was the only reasonable option so he pulled himself up and got dressed.

Whilst walking to the breakfast hall Jimmy thought over to the previous night, he felt angry at himself for dismissing Angela in that way. In truth, he hadn't thought about what was going to happen after tour, he was too busy living in the moment. However, the more he thought about it, the more he was left to mull the situation over, he realised that he didn't want to part ways with Angela. He wanted her to be there with him, this wasn't just a fling, he loved her. Which is why he decided as soon as he saw her, he'd make it up to her, tell her of his plan to move to England. He was sure she'd oblige.

"Look what the cat dragged in" Robert happily chimes as Jimmy walked through the white double doors into the breakfast room. "What's got you up this early then Pagey" Bonzo asked, little bits of toast being caught in his beard as he spoke. "I'm looking for Angela, thought she'd be down here" Jimmy yawned, pouring himself a coffee.

Robert and Bonzo both looked at eachother, then to Jonesy who was looking at them. They hadn't heard anything off Angela since last night. "Mate, she hasn't been down all morning" Robert voice, a little deeper spoke up. Jimmy turned to face them; if she wasn't here than where could she be?

"Do you think she went for a walk?" Jimmy asked, eyes quickly looking out to the garden; empty. "What in the torrential rain, I don't think so" Robert answered, the happy atmosphere now dissipating at the disappearance of Angela.

Jimmy's mouth was dry, he was sick with worry about where she had gotten to, he rose from his seat and began walking back to the hotel room, maybe she was in the shower?

When he arrived at the room, a sense of impending doom glazed over him as he reached for the door handle, an acidic taste resting on the back of his teeth. When the door opened, he started to piece it all together.

First he headed for the wardrobe; empty. Then for the bathroom, in search for any reminants that would prove she was still here; empty. Next be headed for the bed. Laid on the pillow was a small note that had been written with the hotels notebook, Jimmy's heart was racing; she couldn't have left, she could've have? surely she wouldn't. Still he forced himself to read it.

Dear James,
Before you read the rest, I want you to know I love you and that i'm sorry things have ended this way. But James you have to understand my point of view, I feel as though i'm disposable to you, that as soon as the tour ends you'll up and leave and forget all about me. That would be too much heartbreak for my little heart, and you of all people know how much that would destroy me. I had to this for me, i'm always thinking of you and of others that my own needs tend to get ignored, I need to remove myself from this situation, for my sanity and own peace of mind. That being said, this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do. The times we've had will be forever held in my heart, and the love I have for you won't perish. Because it's real. I want you to not be angry at me, I know that wit your stubbornness that might be hard but please try.

Jimmy took a second to breathe before the flipped over the page, his cheeks were wet and coated with tears but he didn't realise he was crying, it was just a natural reaction.

Thank you for everything Jimmy, I mean it when I say I love you with all my heart. Who knows, maybe when we're older and life isn't as crazy. I wish you all the best and I hope you accept my apology.
I love you James Patrick Page.
Love, Your Angela
xxx