Prettyboy, MD (ManXMan)

Chapter 24

Trigger warning: Suicide, Stalking, substance abuse/addiction, gaslighting.

Sophia and Ilya exchanged a confused glance, entirely perplexed by NIkolai's strange demeanour. He seemed concerned about Adam, but there was something more. There was an indelible look of dread in his eyes, muddled with guilt, and deep empathy.

"Adam..." Nikolai said as he sat Adam down next to him on the sofa. "There's something I should have told you a long time ago, but I didn't. I told myself it was because I didn't want to hurt you, but if I'm being honest part of me was afraid that you'd hate me. I want you to know that I've honestly regretted this ever since it happened..."

"Kolya, is this really the best time for this?" Ilya narrowed his eyes at his brother and Adam with a general look of concern in his eyes. Ilya always called him Kolya, which was the nickname his family used for Nikolai.

"He deserves to know, I owed it to him to tell him a long time ago." Nikolai said with a disappointed sigh. "Hell I should have stopped it from even happening in the first place."

"Jesus, Nik, what did you do?!" Sophia glared at him with narrowed eyes, pure confusion practically dripping from her expression.

"Adam, bud. Listen. I love you. And I would ask you to promise that this won't change anything between us." Nikolai gave Adam's hand a firm squeeze. "But I know that's a big ask so I won't bother." Adam stared at him blankly wondering exactly where all this was leading to.

"When you three started uni, as you are aware; I was in my final year." Nikolai started, taking a deep breath in and letting it out. "Lux was only in its early years, and starting from scratch like that wasn't easy, especially that young. I got involved with some bad people who could get things done and at times it wasn't pretty." Nikolai said as he glanced around the room nervously. "Dylan was my friend since our first year of university. He was super book smart, but also super into partying, drinking, using and dealing drugs, fighting, and having meaningless one time hookups with girls and guys he'd cast out like garbage. He eventually cleaned his act up and went on to become a doctor. He did a full one-eighty, but in undergrad, he was fucked up."

Adam remained quiet, staring intently at Nikolai, reading his uncomfortable body language as he continued telling the story. Sophia wanted to stop it all, she had a bad feeling this story was about to do more harm than good knowing the delicate nature of Adam's mental health, but Nikolai already seemed adamant that whatever it was, it needed be put out into the open. And quite right he was.

"Lux was still in its early stages, there were more expenses than revenue, so cash was strapped. I had to somehow pay tuition for two of us, not to mention pay staff and rent, and focus on graduating myself. I needed something to take the edge off, so I got into opiates. I'm not proud of it and I did quit when things started to get better, but nonetheless I let it control me." Nikolai continued, staring down at the carpet and only occasionally allowing for brief moments of eye contact with Adam.

"Dylan was the one who dealt me the drugs. I quickly became addicted, but like I said, money was tight. Dylan came to Lux with the drugs I ordered off of him one night and when I told him I didn't have cash and that I'd pay him back somehow, he refused. I guess that's when you caught his eye, Adam."

"Kolya, what did you do..." Ilya said under his breath as he dreaded where this was going.

"He asked me who you were and I told him. I didn't know why he was asking at first but then he said he wanted to make a deal." Nikolai said as he averted his eyes away from Adam. "He said that he'd give me a the pills for free from there on out if I agreed to tell him every night that you were working."