love is messy

Chapter 26: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

(the waitress above)
February 16th 2017
ARYN: "hey bbg, how are you? sorry i couldn't be there for you today also i'm sorry about the argument from yesterday" AJ said i could hear the smile in his voice. my breath was shaky, i knew i had to break up with him. i didn't love him anymore, i loved Hannah and i just wanted to be with her. "AJ-" my voice choked up as i started again, "AJ i can't do this anymore. i don't love you, not anymore. i'm sorry but my heart belongs to someone else. i know that everyone says this but, it's not you it's me. i just realized i can't keep hiding these feelings i have for this person anymore. i've been doing it for way too long and i'm tired. i'm exhausted of hiding my true self from the world. i'm so sorry i really hope you find someone but that someone just isn't me" i blurted out hearing him inhale before he spoke. "why are you doing this to me? to US!" he shouted into the phone, "it's not about you and there is no us. not anymore. it's about me and how i feel and i feel like i don't love you anymore and i'm not going to stay in a relationship i don't want to be in." i shouted back. why does he always have to make everything about him. "fuck you Aryn. i spoiled you rotten. spent HUNDREDS of dollars on your stupid gifts and food. i put my all into this relationship and you're just going to leave me for someone who is most likely not HALF the man i am!? i treated you like gold, fucking GOLD. you're just going to push that away!?" he yelled practically piercing my ear drums. tears streamed down my face as his words cut like knives. i could tell he loved me, i just didn't love him. god why do i always fuck everything up. "AJ i-im sorry" i said trying to fight back the tears, i have cried enough for now. "save it Aryn. i expect everything i gave you back and i don't want to speak to you ever again and tell your new man that if he even thinks about looking in my direction i'll beat him to a pulp" he said like he was going to recognize the person. "fine, i'll have your shit back to you by the end of the week and by the way it's a girl. not no man so yeah suck on that. how do you feel about a girl replacing you and already making me feel things i never felt with you?" i said smugly in the phone as i hung up before he could respond. i didn't want to hear his answer, i knew it would be mouthy and not worth my time. i didn't care to hear it i was just focused on getting my girl. who wasn't technically my girl yet. i walked back in seeing Hannah at the table running her hand through her hair, she seemed angry. "H-Han?" i walked up to her cautiously, she looked like she was about to ram her fist into a wall. "i gotta go" she said walking away quickly. she stopped and turned around smiling as tears sparked up in my eyes again. "don't cry Air bear it's not like that i just have to go sort something out. i'll call you tonight" she said placing her lips on my forehead. my body relaxed at her embrace as she pulled me into a hug. i nodded and she pecked my lips before walking away. i didn't want her to go. i didn't even get to tell her i broke up with AJ. i sighed and sat down before signalling the waitress to come here. she glared at me for a second but came over quickly as i crossed my arms, i was craving a nice hot mocha latte at the moment. "can i get a mocha latte with whipped cream and throw some mini chocolate chips on it please" i said with a smile. she seemed kind of rude but it didn't bother me because i'm sure she was just having a bad day. "of course, your date left?" she asked me. i blushed at the word date. it wasn't a date, was it? "y-yeah" i stuttered as she stared at me and then walked away. i got a text from my dad telling me to come home ASAP which i frowned at because i knew he was serious when he said ASAP.

Dad: Aryn we need to talk come home ASAP.

Aryn: i'll be there in a few minutes, what's going on?

Dad: i cant talk about this over the phone. it's not right just hurry home please.

Aryn: i just ordered a coffee it should take a few minutes to come but i'll leave as soon as it does.

Dad: don't worry hon. you aren't in trouble i just got notified of something and i need to know if it's true.

Aryn: what is it?

Dad: not on the phone.

Aryn: okay okay i'll see you in a few, love you!

his words worried me, got notified? need to know if it's true? what is he talking about? i have to get home. i sighed in relief as the waitress brought me my mocha, i sipped on it making sure it was still hot which it was. i licked my lips as i tasted the whipped cream on them. I handed the waitress a five dollar bill but she gave it back and shook her head. i went into my purse looking for more money but she pulled my hand out of my purse and chuckled. "on the house, thanks for putting up with my attitude. i'm sorry i was going to ask out Hannah today but then she was with you and i couldn't so i was a little salty when i first saw you. but you seem nice and i'm sorry so let me take this one" she said smiling lightly. "how do you know Hannah?" i asked, i was genuinely curious but she just shrugged leaving me disappointed. i wanted a real explanation. she laughed as if reading my mind before she spoke. "Hannah comes by here almost every morning for coffee and after 4:00 or 5:00 PM she comes back and just kind of sits in this table booth and socializes with me and the other waiters and waitresses. i started liking her a while back but when she spilt coffee on my friend today i figured now was my chance but when i came back from helping wash her shirt she was sitting here, with you." she explained as she sat down. i can already tell i had a stupid oh expression on my face. "well i'm sorry for ruining your plan, i didn't know" i said, i was honestly sorry i know what that pain of rejection and jealousy feels like. she chuckled before giving me a soft smile as she sighed, "no, thank you for preventing me from making a BIG mistake. i realized that if Hannah can fight for her girl i can fight for mine. i have an ex girlfriend back in my home town. we broke up shortly after i moved away, the distance was too much i guess. but i think i'm gonna call her, try and work shit out. so thank you for that because i was just going to rebound off of Hannah but that wouldn't be right so thank you for stopping that mistake" she said as she placed her hand on mine. i smiled softly "i have to go but i think you should go for it. if you truly love her then it's worth fighting for. don't hold back because you're scared, i have learned that it's not worth it. what ever you are thinking of doing or saying in that moment, do or say it. it won't be as much of a problem as you think it will be if you are an over thinker like me. i have been secretly in love with my best friend for a long ass time now and i realized that i wasted so much time hiding my feelings when i could have been in her arms the ENTIRE time. don't hide it." i spoke my mind as she nodded her head and smiled. i laughed and stood up giving her a sweet brief hug before pulling away. "thanks" she mumbled as she made her way back to the tables which now seemed to be full. i guess it's busy hour. i nodded with a smirk knowing damn well i was right. i sighed and walked out the coffee shop with a smile as i got in my car and headed home. i loved giving advice to people, i felt so wise. even though i myself never followed the advice i gave other people i knew it was solid good advice. anytime someone asked for my advice or gave me the chance to advise them i would always pour my heart and soul into my words making sure they took in the information like the beautiful ocean waves that you couldn't help but mesmerize over. i got a text from Hannah saying she was sorry which i ignored because i was driving, i'll text her back when i get home. i felt great about today, yes AJs words cut deep but i'm sure Hannah would fix that with her amazing self. god i love that girl. as much i don't want to tell her i really, really do...