Project: Make Him Fall (Completed)

Chapter 15: Chase

Oh great! Why is it that palaging dumadating si ex whenever problems arises and meddle with a relationship. Well, I can’t actually say meddle kasi siya lang ang meron ako ngayon.

Ever since, I only has Mark in my life and now that he’s gone. Nothing’s left. Wala na. Nada. I’m back to zero. Well, it’s not that he’s gone naman talaga. It’s more like, I pushed him away. I ran away kaya wala rin akong karapatang magreklamo.

Wala akong friends because I don’t easily trust people that much. Feeling ko kasi nakikipagplastican lang sila sa akin. Or either gagamitin lang nila ako. ‘Yun naman ang uso sa panahon ngayon ‘di ba? ‘Yung gamitan. User friendly. They’ll only call you when they need you and pag hindi na. Parang basura ka nalang.

I hated people like that that’s why I decided to just stick with Mark. After all, he’s my bestfriend. But now, ako pa mismo ang lumayo.

Hindi nga ata niya mapapansin na wala ako sa bahay niya dahil unlike me marami siyang kaibigan. That’s where he’s good at. Ang makisocialize sa iba’t ibang tao, which I’m not. I can consider Viv, Pie, Kate and others as my friend pero hindi ko naman sila pwedeng takbuhan because Mark will know.

Tinignan ko ang katabi ko and mocked a laugh. I wanted to laugh at myself. Is this all you got? Ang makipagfriend sa taong nanakit sayo?

I know sinabi ko before na I never really loved all my flings but this one’s different. Toby is not just my fling. He’s something like special? I don’t know. He actually came before ko pa makilala si Mark.

I had loved him. So did he pero some things are really not meant to be. He broke up with me just before our anniversary. I was left broken and lost. Then, nung magcollege ako I came to know Mark.

We broke up because according to him may makikilala pa akong mas deserving in my college life. I didn’t even let him finish his explanation when I left him. Even by now, ang sakit pa rin. Looking at him, those eyes, nose, lips. Same face. Same smile.

I don’t want to believe him. All I can think is that excuses, damn excuses. Pero ngayon naiisip kong tama nga siya. Thankful ako na nakilala ko si Mark dahil sa kanya.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

I smiled bitterly at him. Yes, I still love him kahit na ang sakit sakit na. Ganito pala talaga pag nagmahal ka noh? Pain is part of it. Hindi mo masasabing nagmahal ka talaga kung hindi ka nasaktan.

This pain that I’m feeling right now is ten times na nararamdaman ko nung nakipagbreak si Toby sa akin. The pain that he had caused me is nothing compared to this feeling that I’m in right now.

Unrequited love? Fuck that shit. I bet he’s enjoying his ass because finally wala nang babaeng mangungulit sa kanya. He can flirt with all the guys he wants. Hindi ko na siya pipigilan.

“Ironic noh? Habol tayo ng habol sa taong ayaw sa atin.” I said as I laugh.

I said that I will never give up pero ngayon parang gusto ko nang mag give up. Darating ang panahon na matatanggap ko rin ang lahat. Pero ang pinakamahirap tanggapin ay ang katotohanan na he will never be a guy that will love me back.