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Stephen's eyes followed Alex as he walked over to his backpack and pulled out something. Something that Stephen couldn't see from the angle he was sitting at, but whatever it was it made Alex very nervous as he walked over to Stephen and took a seat in the chair beside him.
Stephen could visibly see Alex shaking, he ached to reach out and touch him but what Alex said had him shocked.
"Stephen, will you marry me?"
Alex was shaking after he asked the question, dread began to fill his stomach when it was taking too long for Stephen to answer. "I can't." Stephen's voice broke, there was a clatter as Alex dropped the ring box in shock.
Alex closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Why?" Alex asked voice cracking as he sat back in the chair looking at Stephen with hurt in his eyes.
Stephen reached towards Alex but pulled back when he saw Alex make no move to come closer. "I don't want to get married with shaky hands, I don't want to look back at wedding pictures with you and see my hands being ugly." At Stephen's confession, Alex didn't know what to feel, he felt both angry that Stephen was being selfish but he also felt understanding.
Alex raked his hands over his hair and rubbed his eyes in frustration, he tightened his fists he looked down to see the ring box. He picked it up and placed it in arms reach for Stephen before getting up. "I need a minute, I'm sorry." Stephen nodded at Alex sadly and watched him leave.
Unknowingly to Alex once he stepped out of the room Stephen grabbed the ring box and ran his fingers over the ring, but Alex had his own self to worry about.
He couldn't exactly talk to that many people about this, only Veronica and he didn't want to bother her today, especially about this. He felt humiliated, he felt like this was his fault because it was too soon after Stephen's accident to ask such a big question like the one he did.
Alex was going to come back, but he needed to take a walk first. Looking behind him one last time to Stephen's room he followed the signs that led him to the hospital courtyard.
Alex had to pull his jacket closer to him to stay warm, the courtyard wasn't busy which was good for Alex because that means he doesn't have to socialize with anybody. Sighing he takes a seat on the bench beside the fountain, his brain flashed through the memories with Stephen.
Yes, Alex was hurt but he doesn't want to end the relationship he has with Stephen, he would never do that.
Alex feels a whoosh of the wind, he shivers pulling his jacket tighter around him. He glances down at his watch and figures he's been outside too long, and it was getting close to when they serve dinner.
Already knowing what Stephen likes he just picks something up at the cafeteria, as he's carrying the food he can smell it which makes his stomach growl. "Hey, I'm back," Alex says in a soft voice.
Doing a quick look around the room he can't find Stephen but when he looks towards the closed bathroom door he can see light shining under the door.
He turns the knob and opens the door, Stephen doesn't see him right away because he's attempting to shave. Alex wants to help him but he knows that Stephen needs to try. "Fuck." Stephen's hands shake too much to do it.
Alex sighs making himself known. "What me to do it?" Alex puts his head on Stephen's shoulder smiling slightly.
Stephen closes his eyes and shakes his head. "No, leave it." Alex frowns but accepts. "I brought food." Alex helps a shaky Stephen to sit down in the chair that Alex occupied earlier.
"Are we okay?"
Alex looks sadly at Stephen who's lashes had teardrops on them, Alex could tell he was trying not to let them fall. "No, but we will be. I love you always, I'm sorry I sprung it on you." Alex stood up and started plating Stephen's food for him.
As Alex rolled the table closer Stephen spoke. "I will be ready, not now but one day when I get my hands fixed." Alex wants to say that it will be never because honestly, he thinks Stephen is going to die trying to get his hands fixed and it's not worth it to Alex.
He doesn't say any of that though, he puts his head against Stephens and kisses his forehead. "I will be with you every step of the way, you know that right?" Stephen ducked his head so Alex couldn't see his blush.
Stephen coughed to get Alex's attention, his head snapped towards Stephen. "Yea?" Stephe raised his hands closing his eyes when he started to get frustrated because of the shake. "Can I try to feed myself?" Alex nodded, he knew Stephen felt humiliated about Alex having to do everything, but he didn't mind.
Getting up Alex went to get a napkin, knowing what Alex was going to suggest Stephen shook his head in protest. "I'm not five Alex." Alex resists the urge of the pout that Stephen has on his face to suggest otherwise. "I know that, but I don't want anything to spill into your lap, so humor me," Alex begs, sure enough, Stephen relents so Alex drapes the napkin over his lap and chest.
Pushing the food closer to Stephen. "It's okay if you can't do it, it takes practice." Stephen nods in understanding but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.
Stephen is about to raise the spoon shakily to his mouth when a knock sounds on the door. "Come in," Alex yells looking at Stephen apologetically.
Christine walks into the room with a smile on her face. "I have good news."
Stephen made a go on motion with his hand. "Stephen be nice." Alex scolds Stephen lightly making Christine chuckle.
"You get discharged tomorrow."
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