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Alex didn't have a good time sleeping, the bed felt too big and too cold without Stephen occupying the other side but Alex couldn't face him right now. Throughout the night lex was jolted awake a few times from Stephen throwing something and it breaking but Alex didn't go check on him as much as his heart ached every time.
Stephen broke him, he tore his heart out and stomped on it. At least that's what it felt like to Alex but he knew that this feeling would pass because eventually, Alex would have to talk to Stephen but he let the sounds fade away in the background as he felt sorry for himself.
Alex turned to look at the bedroom clock through his wet eyelashes, he rubbed his hand over his face, and blindly reached out to try to find his phone. He sent a quick text to Veronica saying that he's taking a personal day and threw his phone to the side.
Moving so he's laying on his back he looked up to the ceiling, if Alex thought hard enough he could feel the ghosting of Stephen's fingers carding through Alex's hair after a nightmare. Looking to his right the memories of Stephen laying beside him flashed in Alex's mind.
Alex let out a big sigh and got up, slipped Stephen's slippers on, and opened the door, it creaked loudly. As Alex looked around he couldn't see Stephen but he saw a mess, all of Stephen's awards were shattered on the ground.
That must have been what Alex heard breaking last night he thinks to himself. He looked around for a little bit but still couldn't find Stephen, Alex pushed away that knawing worrying feeling Stephen was a big boy he didn't need Alex to babysit him.
As Alex was looking around he found an open file with an orange sticky note with the words "Told You So" on it, Alex sat down and looked through it. His heart sank, whoever this person was made a complete 180 in their recovery. Alex huffed out a laugh if he had to guess Stephen was going to go look for this mystery person so he can get healed. Alex tossed the file aside and started picking up all the awards.
"Fuck!"
Alex sighed but speed-walked towards the sink to clean up a cut he got from a shard of glass, he had to stand on his tiptoes to reach the first aid kit that Stephen put in the kitchen. A smile graced his face when he saw the superhero-themed bandages Stephen put in the kit.
After getting his finger bandaged he grabbed his keys and left as the penthouse felt like it was closing in on him and he felt suffocated so he decided to grab some coffee.
Once Alex got into his car he realized he was still wearing his pajamas but Alex couldn't really be bothered that much. He pulled out of the garage and drove to the local Starbucks he always goes to, it wasn't busy which was good because of his attire for the day.
Alex swung the door open and walked to the counter. "Can I have a Tall Black Coffee with one espresso shot please" The woman nods and takes Alex's card to charge it before going to make his coffee.
Since Alex was the only one in the store it didn't feel bad about standing and waiting. "Thank you," Alex muttered when his coffee was handed to him.
Across the street, he saw a small store so he decided to walk in, as he looked behind the register he had the temptation to do something that he hasn't wanted to do in a while. "One pack please." Alex handed over his ID and paid before saying goodbye and walking towards his car.
He drove to the one spot that he knew he shouldn't go to, but Alex was stuck in his mind and he needed an escape. He parked and grabbed his coffee and his temptation, he found a bench and opened the box.
Alex bit his lip in nervousness, he hasn't done this in a long time does he really want to throw away his life?
He popped open the box and plucked out a round long cylindrical thing running his finger lengthwise over it, he made up his mind.
Bringing it up to his lips his lit it with a lighter that he found in his car, pulling it away from his mouth he blew the smoke out of his mouth.
Alex didn't feel the pleasure that he thought he would, he felt sick to his stomach. He groaned and stomped the cigarette out before throwing the pack in the trash.
Stephen was the one that told him to quit and Alex felt hurt so he decided to betray Stephen because he smoked but Alex can't do that, he can't start a new habit just because Stephen hurt him.
He gulped the hot coffee to try to get rid of the taste of smoke in his mouth and it worked for the most part.
Alex fished his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Stephen, one that every partner fears if Alex is being honest.
We need to talk, it said. Alex was wanting to figure this out, ultimately he still loved Stephen and he thinks he always will. He still has the ring in his sock drawer, it might be a little later than Alex would've wanted to propose but Alex doesn't care because he wants to be with Stephen.
But does Stephen want to be with Alex?
After Alex was finished with his coffee he threw it in the trash before making his way back to his car and starting it. Alex hoped his breath smelled like coffee and not smoke but he couldn't do anything about that, they just had to talk.
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NOTES:
Are you guys ready for angst? Gonna be angsty from now until chapter 20 lol. I thought It was about time that I gave Alex a little bit more backstory so here we go, an old smoking habit.
