ADDICTION || J.JK × Reader ✔

chapter 30 | Hate me

"J-Jungkook...what are you talking about...? You..." her eyes glisten when I didn't expect or even want to see this occurring because of me. "You're my...you're not my brother...this is impossible...what the hell are you saying?"

"I know this is hard to believe y/n but...I'm telling the truth," I anxiously talk no matter how much I wish this were a nightmare. "D-Don't cry, baby..." I place my hand on her calf to hold it but keep my eyes fixed in hers. "Sangook married my mother but she was pregnant before meeting him so I'm not your brother, don't worry about this..." I try not to cry in front of her sobbing but covering her face as if she was relieved.

I inch closer to her and put my arms around her body, for my lips to press a kiss on her cheek. "I thought we were..." she chokes up on her words as my words must have triggered a real fright and distress into her. "I thought we couldn't be together...I was so scared..." she lets go of her emotions but makes me feel bad for the way I formulated my sentence.

"I'm so sorry baby..." I hold her close but place my hand on the side of her face to kiss her cheekbone as she moved her hands down. "My mom is the one who mentioned it. She told me you looked like him...so...she wanted me to ask you those questions just to know," I tangle my fingers in her hair. "Does that mean he cheated on your mom and that...I was born from this type of thing...?"

I don't answer to not worsen her state but stroke her cheek and look into her eyes. "Then your mother is the reason why he left my mom..." she drops her gaze down but since I cannot say anything about this, I keep quiet. "I feel horrible..." she wipes her tears away but her heartrending expression worsens this anguish felt inside of me. I just want to hold her tight and make her feel better. "Don't feel like that...honestly...I don't want this to sound wrong but...if he didn't do this...you wouldn't be here with me...we wouldn't be together and just the thought of it hurts me."

"But...he hurt your mom..." she gazes up at me with her teary and sorrowful eyes but I maintain this contact. "I know...but..." a sigh runs out of me as my thoughts are mixing up into my head. That would be bad if I was saying that I'm glad this happened that way but I love her a lot, so that would pain me to think of myself living without her on this earth. That really pains me.

Since I don't know what to say, I lean in and join our lips for a sweet kiss. This feeling is more than great, that soothes me, relieves me, and helps me to calm down. I do it slowly and gently for her to feel every little emotion in my touches but then pull apart, for our lips to delicately drift apart. "If you want to talk about it we can, but after this, I want us to not think about it and just keep acting like we were before. I don't want this asshole to ruin something good in our lives again."

She nods, her wet eyelashes softly fluttering as she's gazing away. "Do you need to talk about it? To ask me some questions?" I reach her calf out to caress it. I know my touch appeases her in this kind of moment. She doesn't answer anything, looking through space and probably thinking. Her fingers pass over her warm cheeks and she suddenly leans closer to me, to end in my arms. "Does your mother know about this...?"

"Yes, she does," I comb her hair and rest my back on the wall to be in a more comfortable position with her. "Does she hate me...?"

"No baby, she doesn't hate you," I shake my head and believe in those words. "Are you sure?" she glances up at me with worry and I cup her chin with gentleness to speak while looking at her pink lips, but she goes for it first. "I would hate me if I was her...I'll understand her if she wants to hate me or dislike me from now on..."

"Baby..." I exhale sharply but connect my gaze to hers. "Stop saying such things, hm?" I run my fingers through her hair to comb them back and keep my hands in the back of her hair, with my thumbs on her cheeks. "My mom will not hate you. She will feel a bit weird at the beginning now that she knows this but that's normal, she won't dislike you at all. Don't be worried about this," I stroke her reddish skin. "And no matter what she thinks, I love you. That means I'll stay with you. Ok baby girl?" I brush her eyelashes with my fingers to remove the marks of sadness.