things i'll never say out loud

a series of excerpts.

excerpt 1:

".... Maybe when he hugs me tightly, or when i intertwine my fingers with his, I like to think that maybe the calmness of home, the comfort he needs, is what he feels instead of the zapping electricity most people feel..."

excerpt 2:

"....With him, i am brave. I can fearlessly be myself. I can open up parts of my life, my dark pasts and secrets, my dark parts. With him, I feel the bravery running through my veins, adrenaline pumping, heart jumping, it feels like i can do anything. With him, my bones feels at home. Shaky and anxious, but it is home. Home is the comfort i feel when i'm with him..."

excerpt 3:

"I dared to see

   I dared to see all the green flags despite the countless red ones. Repeating in my head the cons, the bad, the not so likeable, maybe through that i can finally forget you, but it isn't easy. You see, my heart is a stubborn one. Maybe it is blind as my blurry eyes, as cliche as it sounds, love is blind. Also confusing at the same time, i don't know if it is me accepting every bit of you or i am being blindly stupid. My mind says: 'no! abort the mission!" but my heart says: 'C'mon, give it a shot.' A battlefield in me, a war ranging on. It is a battle i am destined to lose. i will only win when both of them agrees for me to stop.

   I dared to see my imagination and expectations instead of the harsh realities that is in front of me. I dared to see my fantasy, feeling the ecstasy when I'm with you, than the truth that the idea of us is just a mere make believe."

- g.b. // excerpts from the stories i will never publish. // (but hmm who knows tho? AHAHHAHA) // hope you are staying safe. ingat. lablab <3