She is the one

Part 50.

Jasmine's POV

20 minutes after walking through the half city I finally arrived at Sophie's house. I take out my headphones and ring at her door bell, as suddenly the door opens.
- Oh hey Jassy! - she says suprised, not knowing that I was about to pick up my stuff today.
- Heyy. Uhm I just wanted to pick up the rest of my clothes and stuff if this is okay? - I say and step in.
- Of course, no probs! So you won't sleep here any longer? - she asks me while I take out my shoes.
- No, you've done enough for me. Nevertheless thank you.
I walk upstairs into the room where I was sleeping for the last few weeks and put my things together. All of sudden the door opens and Sophie comes in and sit down on the bed.
- Uhm Jassy. Is everything okay between you and Shawn? - she asks me shy. Why does she asks that? I'm confused.
- Yeah, everything's fine. Why are you asking? - I say looking at her and sit down next to her.
- I was just wondering, because Shawn was here yesterday and asked me if you're here. He didn't know where you where and so I thought there must be something wrong between you.
- Yes okay, we had a little agruey but everything's okay again. I guess so. I hope so. - I say insecure and look at the ground.
- You know that I'm always here for you.
- I know and I really appreciate it. But Shawn and I have to work out our problems together. You've done enough for me. Really. - I say smiling and she hugs me. Sophie stands up and walks downstairs again, I continue packing my stuff.
Finally ready with my suitcase I'm walking downstairs before I search Sophie. I guess she's in the kitchen right now, making herself a milkshake or something like that.
- Sophie? - I say loudly while I walk into the kitchen.
- Yuuup?
- I'm ready and about to leave. Got some stuff to do.
She walks over to me and hugs me tight before she gives me a kiss on my cheek.
- Oh dear, I'll miss you in my house.
Naw, she's just too cute.
- You don't have to. - I say chuckling and smile at her.
- Of course I have to.
- I'll visit you when you're back. Promise.
- Okay, deal. Have fun doing your stuff or whatever you have to do. - she says and takes a sip of her glass. And yes I were right, she made herself a milkshake. I'm a pro in friendship' stuff.
- Haha thank you! I wish you a wonderful vacation with Christoph as well. - I say smiling and turn around to walk to the front door.
- See you darling!
- See you. - I say and close the door behind me.
All I'm thinking about right now is Shawn. Actually as always. I hope he read my message and is at home, otherwise I have to go back home and talk to him later.
While I'm walking down streets my phone suddenly rings. I take it out of my pocket and turn it on. I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious, maybe he doesn't even wants to see me. But it isn't a message of him, it's a message of my mom.
Mom: Are you going to eat dinner with us today?
I don't know mom. Maybe I will and maybe I won't. Shawn is more important than the thought of dinner right now. I put away my phone and walk further. I'd take less time if I had a car, but I'll just start my driving license in a couple of months. That sucks.
About 45 minutes later I finally arrived at Shawn's apartment. And with finally, I really mean finally. My feet already start to hurt.
I take the elevator and walk up to his door. Now it's time to take a deep breath and calm down. Everything will be alright, just alright.
I raise my hand and knock at his door, hopefully he's here.
2 minutes later and still nothing.
I'm knocking again.
No one opens the door.
I'm knocking one last time.
- Shawn? Are you there? I just want to talk. - I say and lean me ear against the door to hear if someones there.
I hear nothing.
It seems like he isn't here.
Unfortunately.
I turn around and start to walk slowly to the elevator. I'm totally lost in my thoughts as I suddenly hear someone opening a door. I quickly turn around and see Shawn stepping out of his door.
He looks messy.
And sad.
He really looks like he doesn't feels well. He just looks unbelievably bad. My heart begins to hurt.
I run over to him and hug him tight.
He smells like alcohol.
A lot of alcohol.
I can barely breath.
I step back and look him in his eyes.
He looks so broken and sad. I've never seen him like this before. He doesn't even says a word.
- Shawn? What's wrong? What happened? - I ask him nervous but he doesn't answers.
I walk inside his apartment and my mouth and eyes opens widely. I can't count all, but I guess it's been abouth 7 bottles of empty wine and vodka standing around. What...I can't even think straight.
As turn around Shawn comes in and closes the door behind him.
I can see the tears in his eyes.
I can feel his heart beating more slowly. It's broken into pieces. It hurts me to see him like this. The more I look at him the more my heart breaks. I walk over to him and take his hands while I'm looking straight in his eyes.
- Shawn, what is wrong? Tell me please. - I say and I can feel the tears running down my cheeks.
Shawn looking in my eyes but doesn't says nothing.
He walks over to the couch and sits down on it, I follow him and sit down next to him.
Still looking at him I take his hands again.
His hands are cold and shaking.
What the hell happened? I can't handle this.
- Shawn, please tell me what happened that you drink so much alcohol. I can't see you like this.
And now I can see the tears running out of his eyes down his cheeks. He cries. And I can't do something against it.
I hug him tight and ask him once again.
- What is wrong? You know you can tell me everything, I'm your girlfriend. - I say quietly, trying not to cry further.
- That's the point. - he says with a shaking voice and takes distance from me.
Our hand are slowly slipping away from each others.
- What? What do you mean? - I say nervous and insecure. What the hell does he means with 'that's the point'? I'm nervous. My hands start to shake and I can barely breath.
- You can't be my girlfriend. - he says and wipes his tears.
What? What is happening right now? I know that I'm complicated but what? I'm confused, I don't understand anything right now.
- What the hell do you mean?! - I say starting to cry again.
I can't help but cry.
He stands up but I take his hand and pull him back again. He turns around and looks at me with a expression I can't describe.
- I don't deserve you Jasmine! I'm just a mess, I'm just making mistakes, I'm making you a worse person. I'm a worse person! You are a amazing person and you should be treated like that! I can't give you what you need, because I'm nothing. I'm a fault! - he says half scraming and takes a half full bottle of wine and starts to drink again.
- Shawn! What the hell are you talking?! You can't even think straight! - I say also half screaming and tear the bottle out of his hands.
- I'm a mess, and I don't deserve you. Leave me alone and never come back, yoi deserve better. - he says loudly and walks to the door. He even can't walk straight.
- I'm not going anywhere! - I scream and close the door.
He takes a bottle and threws it trough the room against a wall. He breaks down and lays crying on the floor. My heart is completely broken now.