She is the one

Part 34.

Jasmine's POV

At least a houdred of questions run through my mind after I closed the door again. I feel anxious and nervous, why is he here? I thought he hates me now, I mean I hurt him, a lot. It hurts me to see him, I still love him more than anything else.
I take a deep breath and open the door again, I don't know if I should smile but I really would like to. I'd also love to hug him right now, tight. Very tight.
- Shawn? - I say with a nervous voice and he looks at me with his beautiful hazel brown eyes.
- Hey Jasmine. - he says quietly and looks down on the floor. It looks like he wants to say something else but has to sort his thoughts first.
- Uhm, I don't even know if you want to talk to me anymore but I have to talk to you. - he says and looks kinda lost and helpless.
Why shouldn't I want to talk to him anymore? I'm the one who broke his heart, he has to hate me. He shouldn't want to talk to me anymore. I'm confused.
- Oh okay, what's up? - I ask him worried and he runs his fingers nervous through his hair.
- I-I should have listened to you. You wanted to explain everything to me and I just declined it. My mom...uhm Karen told me everything. She told me why you wanted to do this, she told me that it wasn't your intention, everything. I just thought you cheated on me, I was so hurt. I'm just so dumb, I should've listened to you. I'm so so sorry. - he says and I can see that he's really sorry.
- Shawn...
- I know that it's too late but I just wanted to tell you. - he says and turns around to go to his car.
- No... - I say and grab his shoulder so he turns around to me again.
- You aren't the one who has to apologize. I have to apologize! It was the biggest mistake I've ever made and I really regret it. After this happened, after you left me, after everything came to an end I nearly lost myself. I broke down several times, I cried myself to sleep every night...because I miss you. I can't live without you, it doesn't feels right. I really regret everything and I will never forgive myself. So please don't apologize, I hurt you... - I say and I automatically begin to cry again.
Shawn looks at me with his puppy eyes in a really sad way and I wipe away my tears.
- I'm so sorry. - I say crying and look him in his eyes.
Suddenly I feel two strong arms around me holding me tight. I lay down my head against his chest and enjoy this moment. Damn, I missed this.
About 2 minutes later we slowly drift apart again and I wipe away the tears of my face.
- I can't live without you either. - he says and takes my hands.
- What if we try it again? We can take all the time we need to fix this and be happy together again. - he suggests and begins to smile slightly.
Did I heard it right? He asks me to try it again? I mean oh my god, I don't deserve him.
- I'd love to, but I don't know if I can. - I say letting go of his hands.
- What? Why? - he says nervous and steps closer.
- I hurt you Shawn. I can't forgive myself. I won't imagine how you felt or feel. - I say looking on the floor.
- Jasmine...everyone makes mistakes, that's humanely. I also made the mistake and doesn't listened to you. - he says.
- Hmm, okay. But if you don't want this, you can... - I say but he interrupts me.
- I want this Jasmine! I need you in my life, you're my life! - he says and all of sudden I feel his soft lips touching mine again.
Wow, I-I can't describe my feelings right now. I don't want this moment to end.